“Annabelle, you never needed to do that,” he said. He ran a hand over his eyes. “I never wanted you to become less than what you are. It felt at the time like you found me lacking and you were trying to fix me. Of course, because I was so mature, I chose to push back and stayed out later, drank more, and then cheated on you. I’m very sorry about that, by the way.”

I could tell that he meant it, and I felt something shift inside me. I think it was forgiveness pushing to the front of the crowd. I reached over and put my hand on top of his. “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

“Thank you.” He blew out a breath. “That means a lot to me. No matter how much of a jerk I was, and I know I was a big one, I never wanted to hurt you.”

“No, you just wanted to get away from me.”

“I was suffocating,” he said. “I didn’t feel like I could be what you wanted me to be.”

“I wanted you to be happy,” I said.

“Did you?” he asked. He took a long pull off his beer. “Because it felt like you wanted me to be someone else, and I just couldn’t be anyone but myself. I didn’t want you to fix me into some lesser version of myself.”

My mouth dropped open. Is that the message he’d gotten from me trying to take care of him?

“I never thought you needed fixing,” I said. “I just wanted . . .” I frowned. What had I wanted? “I just wanted you to need me so much that you would never leave me.”

There it was. The truth that I had never uttered before. I hadn’t taken care of Jeremy or Greg or Nick because I loved them, although I did in their different ways. I did it for me, to make them need me, so that they wouldn’t leave me. Whoa. Was that what I had been doing with Nick?

I’d dragged him out of his house when he didn’t want to go, I made him open his curtains, buy art, and I pushed him to let his sister into his life, all against his wishes, so I would be his savior and he’d love me forever and ever. I slumped against the couch. This epiphany felt like a punch in the gut. It completely winded me.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Not really, no,” I said. I tipped my head, resting it on the back of the couch. There were tears bubbling just under the surface, but I didn’t want to cry. I knew that I tended to jump in and fix things for people. I’d always thought that it was because I was a giver. I’d never realized that it was because I thought I could bind them to me that way.