“Nick?” I whispered. He was so still, I was afraid he’d hurt himself.

“Sorry, I just . . . I can’t breathe,” he said. He shook out his left hand as if trying to get the feeling back in his fingers. “I just . . . damn it . . . I don’t know if I can—”

I could hear the anxiety in his voice. I knew that if Nick bailed on me now, I would likely never get him naked again. Also, it would become one more obstacle on his path to recovery.

Obviously, I wasn’t a doctor, so I hesitated to say what I suspected, but I genuinely believed that the symptoms Nick was exhibiting weren’t precursors to another stroke but rather he had a case of severe anxiety manifesting in panic attacks.

I’d seen it before. Several times in the months following my mother’s death, my sister, Chelsea, had been convinced that she was having a heart attack. After several doctor’s visits, including a few trips to the emergency room, we discovered she was having panic attacks.

“How can I help?” I asked. I ran my hand up and down his spine, hoping to soothe him.

He heaved a deep breath. He pulled back to look at me. His hazel eyes practically glowed with unsatisfied lust. He looked like a man standing at the edge of a cliff, wanting to jump but terrified of what was in the deep dark water below. Understanding hit me with the precision of a hammer.

“This is your first time since . . .” I trailed off, not wanting to kill the mood by using the s word.

“Yeah,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m trying to get my bearings.”

I smiled. He was trying so hard to keep his cool. I leaned up and kissed him quick.

“It’s okay,” I said. “Let’s just breathe together and see what happens. Come here.”

We stayed entwined, but I pulled him down so his weight settled against me. I looped my arms about his neck, holding him close, and Nick pressed his forehead against mine. Together, we began to breathe. I had done breathing exercises with Chelsea, so I knew to inhale for eight, hold it for four, and then exhale for eight. Nick matched his breathing to mine, and I felt the tension ease out of his body. He settled in against me, his nose pressed against my neck, his hands cradling me gently as if I was the most precious thing in the world to him.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that. Time ceased to mean anything. My entire world became him, just him.