‘But then you did.’

‘Did what?’

‘Do something not on a bicycle.’

‘I couldn’t help it. She grabbed me. I really didn’t want to.’

She looked at him for the first time directly. ‘If you didn’t want to, you could have said “no”.’

‘Said “no”! Christ, she wasn’t suggesting another cup of tea! She had grabbed me. Grabbed me there … you know.’

‘You could have said “no” anyway, gone away.’

‘With her on top of me?’

‘On top of you?’

‘Squeezing me like a ruddy vice …’

‘There?’

Yes, there. And you know me … what Nig and Gus Bender call me? The Studio joke?’

‘Ever Ready.’

‘Right. And so she just … well, she just jumped me. I couldn’t help it, Leni. I couldn’t very well shout for help, now could I?’

‘Something…’

‘I’m sorry. Honestly. But I’ve told you.’

She took a Gauloise from the Army Surplus, lit it with a shaking hand. ‘I knew everything would go wrong … that boat. I hate it. The Papageno. It’s a German name. I knew it would be unlucky. This fat woman, Grottorosso, and now this thing with Wolf. I knew it would be bad if the boat came, I told you. When the real things come in it will change everything. And it has.’

‘It hasn’t! That’s all nonsense … it’s fantasy land, Leni! Real and unreal, you get it all muddled, I don’t know where you are. I don’t think you do.’

‘Yes I do. Sitting here with you, and this thing about that woman … it has all changed, we are different, everything is spoiled.’

He was silent for a moment, pushing his cup in circles on the table. ‘Has it?’ he said suddenly. ‘Everything spoiled?’

She turned her head away, looked across the harbour. Elisabeth at the door with the sweet peas. ‘The difficult thing of course is to remain believing in your fantasies …’ Pull back, pull back, don’t lose him, above all else don’t lose him.

‘Spoiled everything? Really, tell me?’

She shook her head. ‘You didn’t want her? It is true? Honestly true?’