Umbo realized that just because he had never thought of Leaky as pretty didn’t mean that Loaf didn’t find her attractive. And, unusually for Umbo, he realized this before he made a jest that Loaf might never forgive.

“What about you, Param?” asked Olivenko.

“What about me? You heard Rigg’s plan. Noxon’s plan.”

“Either it will work or it won’t,” said Olivenko. “When Noxon goes to Earth, you’ll still be here. What then?”

Param shrugged slightly. “I’m open to suggestions.”

“I think you need to gather an army, destroy General Citizen, and depose your mother,” said Olivenko.

“Why?” asked Param. “So I can prove myself incompetent to rule in her place?”

“Maybe you can find a better way. You’ve read the ­histories—of Earth, of all the great eras of Odinfold. The cruelties of the Sessamids and the insanities of the People’s Revolutionary Council aren’t the only choices.”

“Mother made sure I was never trained to run a household, let alone a kingdom. I’m unskilled at every labor.”

“So what? You wouldn’t have wanted to learn her way of governing, would you? Figure out another.”

Param put a hand in front of her face. “I think we’ve all seen how well I handle problems.”

“I think we’ve all grown and changed,” said Olivenko. “And we’re not done yet. You’re going to need a general to lead your troops.”

“And where will she find one?” asked Loaf.

“You,” suggested Umbo.

Loaf shook his head. “Nobody will follow this face into battle. And even if my original face is finally restored, I’m a sergeant at best. A commander of twenty or a hundred, not of ten thousand. And before Umbo makes some joke about my lack of ambition, it isn’t just a difference in scale. Commanding great armies is a matter of planning and logistics. What I know how to do is lead a few men into combat. And drag them home from brothels between the wars.” Loaf then turned to Umbo, as if he were somehow the next logical candidate for the job.

“At least you know what the job is,” said Umbo. “I’m not even sure I could lift a man-sized sword. Or give great stirring speeches.”

“You could learn,” said Olivenko.

“I have no talent for it,” said Umbo. “And no interest in it. I don’t want to lead people.”

“Well, you certainly don’t want to follow anybody,” said Loaf cheerfully.

Umbo shook his head and looked away. That’s why he couldn’t even imagine leading people—those who knew him best had no respect for him.