But some things can’t be washed off. Like the shame and confusion that enveloped me as soon as I woke up alone.

Though one reminder of Victor remained.

The ring I stowed away in my nightstand was now sitting on top of a piece of paper covered in Victor’s neat handwriting.

“Wear this every day,” the note read. “You will not like the consequences if you do not.”

I was too tired, emotionally and physically, to argue with his written words. I slipped on the ring for the first time in months, and it felt exactly as it did the first time.

It was a shackle. And Victor held the key.

So no, technically, I didn’t need a shower. But I took one anyway, also shampooed and condition my curls for good measure.

As the water washed over me, I tried not to think about what had happened last night.

Just go back to the life you made for yourself before he stopped by for his stupid visit, I told myself.

I’d cook and work out and bike everywhere, teach poor kids sign language, and better myself every day in every way. And, maybe he would stay away for another year. Maybe this time, he’d stay away forever.

My heart vibrated, not knowing how to feel about that.

But the main point was, May 26th could be a regular day, just like any other. The monster was gone now. I could go on living my best prison life, just as I had before.

After I called in sick to Young Souls, I decided to use the day to run all my errands. Even though I was still sore from last night, especially between the legs, I left the house with a plan to bike to the grocery store and get everything I’d need to make a pork adobo.

I wasn’t quite ready to face Yaron yet, so asking for a ride was out. But I knew we could probably both do with some Filipino comfort food in the wake of Victor’s visit. I also decided to replace that nice bottle of wine Victor had tossed instead of fishing it out of the kitchen trash. There was a boutique wine and cheese store just a couple blocks up from the Stop & Shop. Mmm, cheese!

As I walked out to the covered porch, I was already imagining myself later on in the day. I could just see myself: a fine bottle of Riesling, a cheese plate, and on TVs, the latest episode of His Majesty (yet another spin-off of Rap Stars Wives, this time starring one of the judges from American SuperStar and his blended family). But I stopped when I got outside. My bike was missing from its usual place where I always left it lying on its side after I came home. Had it gotten stolen?

No….