Maybe he’d pick up on my cue and just pretend we were friends. Just friends. Who could talk later? Like, say after May 25th.

“So you’ve been avoiding me ever since your husband showed up and kissed you in front of the whole class,” he said, without any serious conversation lube whatsoever.

Wow, no dice again. I’m beginning to understand why they call that Vegas game craps.

“Um, yeah…yeah, I guess I have,” I admitted. “I just didn’t know what to say.”

“So, are you guys back together now?”

“Sort of…at least for a little while. It’s complicated.”

“So you were just leading me on?” Asher shook his head, irritation and disappointment flashing across his face. “When were you planning on telling me about this?”

I inwardly grimaced with the feeling that he probably wouldn’t love my true answer. Which was, Never. It hadn’t even occurred to me to have this conversation with you, dude. Only avoid it.

Instead, I went with, “I can see how this must look from your side of things. But I wasn’t trying to lead you on. Seriously.”

Asher considered my words, his expression becoming even more anxious and confused. “So you’re not getting a divorce?”

“Oh, no, I’m going to get a divorce. I’m definitely going to get a divorce…”

I paused when instead of the usual glee I felt when I thought about no longer being handcuffed to Victor, a wave of sadness passed over me. Wait, what was that? Did I really want to be with Victor any longer than I had to be?

“So, can I still ask you out in June?” Asher asked before I could answer that question.

The technical answer was yes. But for some reason, I couldn’t get the word out. My stomach rolled when I tried, and my throat clogged up like I was trying to spit out a rock. So I just kind of vaguely nodded.

My queasiness must not have translated to my expression because Asher grinned like he just won the lottery. “Okay, I’ll wait until you’re free and ask you out in June like we said. I mean, that’s cool, since we’ll both be in Pittsburgh after graduation now.”

What Victor and I had wasn’t real. I knew that more than anyone, no matter how well we’d done over the last few weeks at pretending. But guilt churned in my stomach at the thought of actively planning to get together with another guy while I was still married to Victor.

It didn’t matter if what Victor and I had was real. This felt wrong, just plain wrong. “Asher, you shouldn’t do that. Don’t wait for—”.

“Don’t worry. It’s cool, seriously.” Asher stepped closer and lowered his voice. “By the way, I missed you at Group A’s soft presentations on Sunday.”