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Chapters (64)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright
  3. Contents
  4. CHAPTER1
  5. CHAPTER2
  6. CHAPTER3
  7. CHAPTER4
  8. CHAPTER5
  9. CHAPTER6
  10. CHAPTER7
  11. CHAPTER8
  12. CHAPTER9
  13. CHAPTER10
  14. CHAPTER11
  15. CHAPTER12
  16. CHAPTER13
  17. CHAPTER14
  18. CHAPTER15
  19. CHAPTER16
  20. CHAPTER17
  21. CHAPTER18
  22. CHAPTER19
  23. CHAPTER20
  24. CHAPTER21
  25. CHAPTER22
  26. CHAPTER23
  27. CHAPTER24
  28. CHAPTER25
  29. CHAPTER26
  30. CHAPTER27
  31. CHAPTER28
  32. CHAPTER29
  33. CHAPTER30
  34. CHAPTER31
  35. CHAPTER32
  36. CHAPTER33
  37. CHAPTER34
  38. CHAPTER35
  39. CHAPTER36
  40. CHAPTER37
  41. CHAPTER38
  42. CHAPTER39
  43. CHAPTER40
  44. CHAPTER41
  45. CHAPTER42
  46. CHAPTER43
  47. CHAPTER44
  48. CHAPTER45
  49. CHAPTER46
  50. CHAPTER47
  51. CHAPTER48
  52. CHAPTER49
  53. CHAPTER50
  54. CHAPTER51
  55. CHAPTER52
  56. CHAPTER53
  57. CHAPTER54
  58. CHAPTER55
  59. CHAPTER56
  60. CHAPTER57
  61. Dedication
  62. Acknowledgements
  63. Books by Jonathan Kellerman
  64. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

She crumpled a tissue. “I was clueless. About creating a family. It’s a challenge under the best of circumstances. If you do it right, it’s daunting, you have to put in time, personal investment, doubting yourself. Educating yourself. You can’t just read books or dial it in, you can’t just delegate it to other people. So I decided to do it right and changed my life.”

She swiveled toward me. “Big insight to a psychologist, huh? But what did I know? Not that I’m some Suzy Housewife baking cookies. Keep me away from kitchens, keep me far away if you value your intestinal tract. And I know I’m lucky, I can pay people to do things I don’t want to do. But actually raising my children? The real stuff? That’s my job.”

She smiled. “Listen, I’m not some martyr, claiming I gave it all up for them. I lost nothing, gained everything. They bring me meaning every day, the other stuff never did. Now the thought of blabbing someone else’s lines makes me want to throw up.”

I kept silent.

“You think I’m a burned-out weirdo?”

“I think you’ve moved on.”

“Well,” she said, “whether you mean it or not, you say the right things—sorry, I tend to be a little cynical.” More hair fluffing, more ciliary rain. “So they seemed well adjusted to you?”

“They did.”

“Did you expect spoiled monsters?”

“I didn’t know what to expect, Prema.”

“Aw c’mon, ’fess up, Dr. Delaware, you had to have a little bit of expectation, no? Crazy Hollywood mom, crazy kids? But trust me, no way that was going to happen. No way they were going to have a childhood like mine. I don’t believe—I refuse to believe that we’re condemned to repeat our own crap.”

My personal mantra. When things got low I congratulated myself for not ending up like Harry Delaware.

I said, “If I didn’t agree, I wouldn’t do this job.”

Prema Moon’s eyes watered up again. The tissue had wadded so tightly it disappeared in her fist. “I don’t know why I’m getting into this. Why I feel the need to justify myself to you.”

I said, “It’s normal to feel judged in a situation like this.”

“You followed us. That was based on a judgment. What’s going on?”

“I’ve been trying to learn about you and your family. Haven’t been very successful because you’ve dropped off the grid. When families isolate themselves, it’s often because of serious problems and that’s what I suspected. I know now that you’ve been trying to take control of your life, are focused on protecting the kids. For good reason. You know that better than anyone.”