“Maybe they just got tired of being a part of this group,” I jab back. “Maybe they just want to live in peace.”

“Hey! If you screw up, they could find me here,” Renu snarls. “They could find all of us. All it takes is one word to the wrong person and everything we’ve worked to protect will be destroyed.”

“Meri . . .” Atlas says my name in a quiet way that raises the hair on the back of my neck. It’s the same tone people use to coax skittish animals into cages before taking them to the vet. “The Stewards have a rule . . .”

“I don’t give a damn about the rules, and don’t pretend you do, either.” I look to Atlas. His face is unreadable, and panic sizzles in my throat. “Atlas, please. I have to go home. My father . . .”

I grab Atlas’s hand and squeeze tight. “When he stumbles out of bed he’s going to worry if he can’t find me. I can’t just disappear. He can’t think—he can’t think that I’ve left him, too.” I blink to keep the tears stinging the backs of my eyes at bay, but that only causes them to burn more. This strange place, the lack of sleep, and discussions about my mother have all laid siege to my defenses. “Please.”

Renu shakes her head. Behind her eyes there is frustration and fear.

Atlas puts a hand on her arm. “I’ve got this, Renu. You should get back to your desk. Nothing will be ready for a lockdown if the Porters don’t get to work.”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” she warns before disappearing into the maze of walls and books.

Atlas puts his finger to his lips to still the argument hot on mine and watches the opening Renu disappeared through.

Finally, Atlas holds out his hand and says, “There are a few things we have left to do here. Then, I promise, we’ll leave.”

For the second time tonight I give my trust by following him through the bookshelves, this time to an older man in a dusty brown hat sitting at a desk crammed with papers and shelves filled with red books. He shouts orders about an assessment of essentials to several people stacking books on tables behind him. He glances up from the battered ledger he’s scribbling in and spots Atlas. Without a word he reaches under the counter and comes up holding a black bag with a dark green stripe on the side. “I had just about given up. I’m breaking the rules if I hand this over to you.”

“Since when do you care about the rules, Dewey?” Atlas asks.

Dewey goes still as he studies Atlas. Then his eyes flit to me. “There are certain rules I care about very deeply. She looks nothing like her mother.”

I take a deep breath and calmly say, “Sorry to disappoint.”

His deep blue eyes stare at me unblinking, as if waiting for me to break eye contact first. When I do, he says, “If you give in that easily about all things you will disappoint more than just me. A great deal was put on the line to bring you here. I very much hope you were worth such a risk.”