“She knew where I was. She even encouraged me to leave. I was old enough, Phillip.”

“And did she keep you from visiting me before or hide my letters from you after a while? But you old enough, you said it yourself.”

“That’s why I’m here now. I couldn’t bring myself to visit before. You were so strange, so different. I wasn’t ready to see you, Phillip.”

“What you mean, ready? I’m your brother. The closest kin you got. And they killing me in here.”

“I’m sorry.” I couldn’t say anything more. I looked at him but he looked above me, not at me. He must have been watching the guard, the clock, the other prisoners, their visitors and animated conversation, the exchange of hopeful looks, I didn’t know. If I could have just touched him then, felt the texture of his face and known that mine had the same toughness of character, I’d have come back again and again just to help him and help myself be strong. I had to bite my lip to stop my eyes from filling up. I brushed them dry, still looking at him. Next to me, a woman pressed her lips to the glass, leaving the print of her lipstick. I turned back to Phillip and the glass between us. I tried to find something to say.

“Truth is, Phillip, I’ve got to touch base with you. I don’t really know what to say. You let me down. You were the only man who made me feel special, like I was a princess or someone important. Like I was even beautiful and deserved somebody’s good attention. You were my hope after Mama died. I wanted to go places, do things, dance on every stage that would have me. And I thought you could help me do that.”

Phillip watched me more closely than I wanted him to. “You couldn’t face it, could you? And I can’t really blame you for not facing it,” he said.

“What, Phillip?”

“That I was just ordinary. Not the black prince every brown girl is waiting for. No dragon-slayer, not even a good pimp. Just the no-count nigger Aunt Lois always complained about.”

“Forget about Aunt Lois. It’s me I’m talking about.”

“And me, Lil’ Sis. You think I ain’t worried about me? And brothers like me? Not just in this dump, baby. All over.”

“I don’t understand you.”

“You still a kid. You see all these black men in here? This ain’t just the colored section of the joint. This is it. All these niggers and nothing but niggers. This is where they put us when we don’t dance to they music no more.”