Once I stole a ten-speed and spray-painted it over. I rode around, got Cuddles, and we rode double, Cuddles peddling and me on the seat, my hair blowing into spikes behind me and me holding Cuddles at the waist with my feet spread out from the double chain and derailer. He told me not to hold on so tight. Lou laughed his nuts off at us riding up to the garage on a stupid bike like that. He called us silly shit heads. I didn’t care since he’s mostly friendly with Maxie and thinks we just punks anyway. That’s when Cuddles tried to act tough. But when I told Lou how I stopped this kid in the park on the East Side, took the silver ten-speed right from under his ass, raced downtown, and spray-painted it red, he looked at me weird like he didn’t think I had the balls to do shit like that on the East Side. “You a mean dude,” he said. And I said, “Naw, just regular white trash.” I grinned all over myself and slapped his palm. Slapped Cuddles on the palm too.

This time, walking up on the guys already at the garage and with me feeling the slow buzz of brew on a warm day, I don’t say much to Lou or to Maxie ’cause Cuddles is already talking big and laughing. Then I get the drift of some shit that really puts me out. “Man, what Lonny needs is some pussy,” Cuddles is saying. “He ain’t had none in so long he’s watching the boys on Christopher Street.” And Cuddles laughs, poking me in the side like I’m supposed to laugh too. But I’m hot in the face, red all over, itching to dance on somebody. But shit, Cuddles my man, or supposed to be. He can turn on you and get Maxie and Lou on his side. Like the time we was fussing and Cuddles jumps in, mocking me, saying, “One minute you talk like us, the next minute you don’t. You trying to fuck with us or something?” Then he jabbed his finger in my chest. “Either you one of us or you ain’t.” Now they’re all laughing like they got something else on me.

“No shit. You mean Lonny’s sneaking after some faggot pussy?” says Lou.

“Maybe Lonny just getting tired of the front door,” says Maxie. “He wants to come ’round the back.”

“Can’t get it open no more, huh, Lonny?” says Lou.

They make me feel like shit. I probably look like shit too. Damn Cuddles, I could kill him. Punch them all out. Why he have to goof on me like that when I’m enjoying my buzz? When these guys start loud-mouthing, no telling what they gonna do. “Naw, man,” I tell them. “The only thing I do with a back door is shut it with my fist.”