“I was stupid to fall for you. It was a stupid idea. I’m over it now. You’re seeing Rodney. I’m seeing Abdul.”

“You happy?”

“Don’t say it like that. You act like a person’s not supposed to be happy. Well, yes, I’m happy. Some feelings you don’t have to fight for.”

“I’m glad for you, that’s all.”

“Don’t condescend to me, Jesse. Not after all I been through.”

“And me? What about me?”

“You never saw me, Jesse. I was just a place to come to. Metro was the same, only he was transportation. Traveling, you call it. Only you never arrived.”

“Where was I supposed to go?”

“You never arrived at knowing who he was. Like he wasn’t worth it, or wasn’t good enough. And you know what happened?”

“What?”

“Metro stayed underground.”

“I don’t follow you, Ruella.”

“You’re not supposed to follow me, Jesse. I want you to listen to me.”

“I’m trying. I really am.”

“Maybe. But you know, Jesse, I caught on pretty quick. I wasn’t going to let you do to me what you did to Metro. You probably drove that boy to hate himself, just like you tried to drive me. Metro couldn’t live with you, because you made it hard for him to live with himself. He probably was looking all the time for some way to die. Maybe he wasn’t strong enough to do it himself.”

“Suicide?”

“Or self-hatred. It’s all the same. He was traveling, all right. Right into the goddamn tunnel you trapped him in.”

“You’re cruel, Ruella.”

“I’m honest.”

“That won’t happen to you? Ever?”

“Not with these thighs, baby. I found my way to the outside. I’m visiting places on my own. So, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get ready for the next call.”

He said nothing. He waited. He said nothing more. I turned back and started to leave. Jesse couldn’t see my lips quivering or my knees weakening. I got to the ladies’ room just before the tears came. But I didn’t really cry. Not for real, anyway. Well, just a little. After a moment I joined the other dancers on the floor.