Panic floods through me. This is what she must have felt in the orange grove. How horrible. How utterly wretched. How—

“Yes.” That one word is quiet but firm. “Yes, you may. But only if you do not plan on marrying Sebastian. Or any man for that matter.”

I swallow again, unable to speak.

Ana’s lips part as she exhales, waiting for me with a patience she shows nothing else in life. My mouth brushes hers, so softly it may as well be an illusion.

It wasn’t hell, I think. The phantom sensation of her skin against mine that tormented me so after she kissed me in the orange grove. It was heaven all along.

Her mouth parts against mine, and oh, that is a whole new world of sensation, the likes of which I have never dared to dream. Her tongue slides against mine and I think I might actually die. Right there. On the spot. Struck dead where I stand.

Suddenly, a thought occurs to me. I pull away from that exquisite pleasure, completely addled.

I have two great loves in my life: Ana. And swords. I have one, but I cannot forget the other.

“Weapons!” I say, far too loudly, considering how close our faces are to each other.

“Ow.” Ana frowns at me as she steps away, rubbing at the ear I just unceremoniously shouted in.

“I’m so sorry,” I say in a rush. “I just…” And although stepping away from her causes me physical pain, I do so. “Stay here. I have something for you.”

A smile flirts with the edges of Ana’s mouth. Even after all these years, she still isn’t quite accustomed to be showered with gifts or the ease with which my family and I can acquire them. “Is it a weapon?”

I pick up fistfuls of my dress and begin walking toward the drawing room at a brisk pace. Over my shoulder, I call, “It’s a present.”

Ana follows right behind me, a subtle skip in her step. Impressive considering how many layers she’s wearing under that magnificent gown. “A weapon-shaped present?”

“Oh, hush, you’ll ruin the surprise.”

“You just shouted the word weapons directly into my face, Kiki.”

Rolling my eyes, I push open the drawing room doors.

“Fine! It’s a weapon,” I say. Ana absolutely beams. “And I think you’re really going to love this one.”

Ana

I try not to quiver with anticipation as I watch Kiki dig through an old chest for whatever this most definitely weapon-shaped gift is, but I fail.

Look, I like presents. A lot. Who among us does not? Fucking nobody, that’s who.

Or maybe I’m still quivering at the feeling of Kiki’s lips against mine. The softness of her skin. The little hitch in her breath when we kissed. I have oh so many reasons to quiver.