By way of reply, the clank of pipes heralded the flushing of the bathroom lavatory, and it was followed shortly afterwards by the sound of Leviathan descending the stairs. ‘Never been in a place this size before,’ he said, his voice preceding him by several yards. ‘You have servants?’

‘Just me,’ muttered Noel.

‘More turkey?’ asked Vee, for at least the fifth time. She had a very high colour – in fact, everyone in the room looked rather pink and dishevelled, as if they’d just finished dancing round a maypole, the maypole in question being Corporal Mario O’Mahoney.

‘Surely there must be many houses as large as this in the United States of America,’ said Dr Parry-Jones.

‘I’m from the city,’ said Mario. ‘I grew up in an apartment. No one where I come from has a house like this – I had to hire a guide to find the bathroom.’

Everyone laughed with a vigour that suggested they were in the presence of Oscar Wilde.

‘When I was a little girl,’ said Dr Parry-Jones – a phrase that Noel had never before heard her use – ‘I went to a Christmas party in a house this size, and we played Sardines. I have never forgotten it.’

‘Sardines? Is that like Blackjack?’ asked the corporal, without apparent facetiousness.

‘What is Blackjack?’ enquired Dr Parry-Jones.

‘It’s a card game favoured by professional gamblers,’ said Noel. ‘An American variant of Pontoon or Vingt-et-Un.’

‘No, no, Sardines is quite different. What happens is that a chosen person finds a place of concealment …’

Noel picked a scrap of chicken from his plate and let it melt on his tongue. The brine recipe had been a triumph, but everyone except himself had eaten turkey. And now never again would Fleur mistake his shoelaces for a worm.

‘Surely that’s just Hide and Seek,’ said Miss Appleby.

‘No, in Hide and Seek one person searches while everyone else hides, whereas Sardines is completely the opposite,’ said Dr Parry-Jones, firmly. ‘Eventually, only one person is still looking while all the others are packed together in the hiding-place like sardines.’

‘Hey, kid, want to see something else disappear?’ asked the corporal, holding a cork in one palm. He tossed it in the air, bounced it off one elbow, caught it in his gigantic mouth and swallowed, and then plucked another cork from behind one of Noel’s ears. There were gasps and applause and Noel went into the larder to look at the blancmange, taking The History of European Architecture with him.

‘Oh, there you are,’ said Vee, a few minutes later. ‘We’re going to play Sardines.’

‘Why?’ asked Noel.

‘Oh, go on,’ she said, giving his arm a pat. ‘Just some Christmas fun. Mario’s hiding first. I know it’s silly but … it means we don’t have to sit and listen to Mr Reddish talking about young ladies, doesn’t it?’

‘Everyone’s drunk.’

‘Everyone’s enjoying themselves, for once in their lives. I’m sure I saw the doctor smile – unless it was wind. Won’t you join in?’