“You shouldn’t go alone,” I mutter helplessly.

She gives me her old lopsided smile, and I feel a twinge of guilt at not sharing her happiness. “Who says I’ll be alone?” She pokes me in the ribs, as if sharing a joke. “I’ve got a friend who’s going to help me.”

That’s a surprise. “Who?”

“Never you mind.”

“And where will you go – to our aunt and uncle’s?”

I can’t help it, the sarcasm. A black hole is opening up before my eyes. I don’t want her to go and I don’t want her to have an illegal baby. Part of me wants to hurt her, to make her cry and change her mind; to get an abortion. I want our life to carry on like normal with no extra turmoil.

Marina puts a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t be angry, Leho,” she murmurs. “This baby …” Her eyes go even darker. “I can’t explain. It’s not something I would ever have planned, of course not, but now it’s happened I have to go through with it. It’s the future, Leho.”

Somehow, I can still meet her steady gaze. “The future can kill you,” I tell her, sounding like Jorzy.

“So?” she retorts, lifting her chin. “That doesn’t mean you have to stay stuck in the past.”

“And what about Jorzy? Have you told him yet?”

“He knows already.”

That will be why my brother has come back late the last two nights stinking of beer, and probably will tonight as well. It’ll break his heart if Marina risks everything taking off like this.

“He’ll get over it,” adds Marina, defiantly.

She stalks back down the hallway to the kitchen and her room. I can hear Nanna in the kitchen now, moving pots around. Leaning my forehead against the cool wall, my shoulders slump while a wave of hopelessness sweeps through me. Marina shouldn’t have to creep out of the city like a criminal. She could have her baby – if that’s what she wants to do – here, with us, and not among strangers. I’ll kill the Director myself and all of this will go away.

“Hey ho,” a voice calls from the other room.

It’s Jorzy, back from the factory. I hear the clatter of his lunch tin on the table. Babet’s high-pitched voice calls out for him to come and play peaknuckle with her. There’s a bright laugh from Marina, and Jorzy promising to play, as soon as he’s had a wash.

Then my brother is in the hallway, jostling in front of me and holding up his hands for me to punch, like we used to practise boxing.

“Come on, ratfinks, give me a good one.”

But my head is full of Marina leaving. I push past him, run past Nanna working at the wood stove, and jog through the building.