He let out a long sigh. “But it wasn’t working for me. I was miserable, and I told my doctor and she suggested I read up on asexuality. So I did, and it was like something clicked inside me. I was nineteen, and I finally felt right. I found an online community group and finally met people who were like me. It was incredible, and I began to embrace that part of my life. It was part of who I am, and so when I met guys, I’d tell them I was asexual. Some had never heard of it, some thought I was joking, some thought I was weird. But I’ve had a few boyfriends over the years, so it’s not all bad.”

“Was it an issue for them?” I asked. “In the end?”

“Yes. And I’ve even tried to oblige, to make my boyfriend happy. It’s quite common for asexual people to engage in sexual activity to make a partner happy or to help fulfil their partner’s needs.”

I swallowed hard. “Boyfriend? You said boyfriend, as in current…”

“Ex, sorry. I should have said ex. It’s well and truly over.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said quietly but so very relieved.

“It was my choice. But he wasn’t exactly upset by the news. He went out the very night after I’d left and slept with three guys, so…”

“Ouch.”

He sighed again, adding a shrug. “He knew from the beginning about my being asexual. I was upfront, as I’d always been for years. And he said he was okay with it, but…”

“But in the end, they think you’ll change or give in or have sex whether you really want to or not. Like you said, to fulfil their partner’s needs.” I frowned as I looked out over the park.

“Is that what you did?” he asked gently.

I nodded.

“It’s okay,” he replied. “I’ve done it too. I thought it would help, and I thought it would make them happy.”

I looked at him then, and his eyes searched mine. “But it made you feel like you’d whored yourself out? Like a transaction where sex was the currency but all you got from the deal was a sick feeling in your gut because you’d just sold yourself for sex.”

He quickly reached and took my hand. “Their happiness shouldn’t come at the expense of your own.”