Merry laughed and teased me the whole day. By the time work was done and we were waiting for the bus, I was about to hyperventilate with anxiety. But then the only thing possibly worse than Merry actually speaking to my Headphones Guy on the bus was Headphones Guy not being on the bus at all.

“He’s not here,” I whispered as we walked up the aisle. We managed to get a seat for both of us and she could clearly see there was no guy on the bus with red headphones.

“It’s your fault,” I told her. “You jinxed me. And now I’ll be left wondering all weekend what happened to him and if he’s okay because he was upset yesterday, or what if his grandad did die, or what if something horrible happened and he’s in hospital? It could be like While You Were Sleeping, only him with someone else because you jinxed me.”

Merry looked me in the eyes and held my gaze. “Jordan, breathe. I’m sure he’s fine. You’re fine.”

“And you’re making me go to this meeting tonight where I may as well just wear a sign with FREAK written in neon fucking letters.”

“That’s not true. Everyone there will be the same as you. You’ll see.”

“How do you know? You can’t know. That’s an improbable equation, and you’re just guessing and that makes you a lying liar that lies, and that’s worse.”

Merry took a deep breath. “Alexa, please add Valium to my shopping list.”

An hour later, after I’d changed outfits three times and had to put my head between my knees and do some deep breathing exercises so I didn’t freak the complete fuck out, Merry actually got me to the meeting. It was being held in a small function room out the back of a hotel on Elizabeth Street. It was busy with drinkers and partygoers, and I might have even drowned my anxiety in vodka if I wasn’t almost freaking out already. There were about seven or eight people there, though I was too nervous to make eye contact or even look at anyone, really. Until Merry made me stop and take a breath.

She faced me, took my hands, and gave them a squeeze. “Look around the room. You’ll see everyone is just like you. It’s fine, you’re fine, okay?”

I took a breath. My lungs felt too small for air but too big for my chest, but I looked around the room and found the person at the front who was obviously running the meeting, smiling with a clipboard in his hands, and I wanted to positively die.

“Oh fucking fuckity motherfucking fuck,” I whispered.

“What is it?”