“Not as bad as their bite, I can tell you that much. Hennessy, I’m, um, I’m…” I put my free hand over my eyes, which was stupid because he couldn’t see me, but it was hard for me to say out loud. “I’m glad you called.”

“So am I.” After a moment, he added, “So, the bus, tomorrow…”

“Tomorrow.”

I clicked off the call and Merry hooked her arm around mine and, both of us smiling like loons, went off to find the velociraptor with the pretty nails.

Merry held both my hands and looked me sternly in the eye. “What are the rules, Jordan?”

I gave a hard nod. “No freaking out. No calling anyone a motherfucker. And I have to call you as soon as practicably possible and let you know what his question was.”

“Good.” She glanced up the road. “Okay, here comes the bus. You got this Jordan. And just remember, he likes the real you. Not some pretence of who you think he likes. You, in all your motherfucking awkward glory.”

“Right. Me, in all my awkward motherfucking glory. Got it.”

The bus door opened and there weren’t nearly as many people on the bus as normal. There were a few empty seats dotted up and down the bus, but there he was, grinning at me like for some strange reason the sight of me made him happy. He slid his bag into his lap and I fell into the seat beside him.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi.”

“Love the yellow.” He blushed a little.

“Oh, thanks. It’s like wearing a little bit of sunshine during shitty Sydney winter weather.”

“So do you have twenty different pairs of shoes for whatever colour you’re feeling?”

“Basically. Is that your daily question?”

He grinned. “Well, it wasn’t what I had planned, but it can be.”

“I’m not opposed to two questions.”

“How did your shopping go with the velociraptor yesterday?”

“It was fine. If you throw coffee and cake at it, it simmers down. She’s just super judgey and condescending, and whatever Merry does is never good enough, and then, of course, that includes her friendship with me. And basically everything about me, really.”

“Is she that horrible?”

“She’s all pomp and no ceremony, if you get my drift. Thinks she’s above everyone else. No one takes it personally with her though. I mean, she was even critical of Princess Diana, which is probably why she hates me. Because I called her on that shit. No one says a bad word about Princess Diana and remains unscathed.”

Hennessy smiled. “Absolutely. Now, Camilla on the other hand.”

I gasped and put my hand to my heart. “Oh my God, you get me.”

He laughed. “And you can pick Charles apart if you want, but you must leave William and Harry out of it.”

I sighed happily. “I feel validated.”