I kind of felt a little scrutinised under his gaze, but he’d been honest with me so I figured cutting to the chase wouldn’t hurt. “So where are you at with the asexual thing? How are you feeling with that realisation that it might be a good fit for you?”

“I’m terrified and relieved. I don’t know.”

“That sounds about right.” Fuck. Fuck, fuck. “Can I be honest with you?”

He nodded.

I took a fortifying breath. “On the bus, I asked if you were thinking of going to the next support meeting as a way of gauging if you’d thought more on whether asexual was a fit for you or not. Because I could be interested in seeing where things go with you, but I can’t be with someone who doesn’t understand the whole no-sex thing.”

“Interested in me?” he breathed. “Really? Me? Are you drunk?”

I laughed. “No, I’m not drunk. But uh, yes. You. You’re incredibly interesting and funny. And you know who Daniel Keyes is, which kind of puts you into perfect territory.” I smiled at him. “But I’m happy with friends, Jordan. I think it’s a really good place to start, and if you want to catch up for coffee and a chat any time, I’m up for that. We can talk about books and canonical and classic literature.”

Jordan stared at me. “You know what that is?”

“I studied a unit or two of English literature at uni.”

“To be an internet security expert?”

“Well, no,” I admitted. I cringed a little. “I took it for fun.”

He blinked. “Are you even real? Or are you some interactive holographic program with all the right things to say?”

I chuckled. “No. I don’t think the field of digital physics or plasmon, for that matter, is that advanced.”

He side-eyed me. “That’s something a hologram would say. Or someone who knows his sci-fi.”

I laughed. “Are you avoiding what I said before?”

“That you’re interested in me?” He blanched. “Well, yes. Because you seem to have full faculties, so maybe just a lapse in judgement…?”

I probably would have laughed if he didn’t look two seconds from freaking out.

“Jordan?” I said, getting his attention this time. His eyes snapped to mine. “Want to go for a walk. We can walk up to the park? Get some fresh air.”

He nodded woodenly. “Yes please.”

I thought the walk, burning energy, or focusing his output somewhere else might help. Sitting in a coffee shop could feel a little confined. I waved goodbye to the barista, and Jordan and I stepped out of the shop to the footpath, coffees in hand. The cold wind was like getting in an ice bath. He shook his head and held his coffee like it was his own personal heater, but he seemed focused, sober now.