The distance between us closed again, charged with not lust but irritation. “You want to question my judgement? At least I know when people want something from me. Those girls want one of two things from me: my dick or my money. From day one, you’ve done nothing but judge me and don’t think for one second I didn’t see that look in your eyes. While I spent time trying to learn more about you, you spent that time looking down on me. You think you’re so smart despite being just like the rest of us. Being naive in experience and sex doesn’t absolve you of not being as innocent as you want us to think you are.”

Not being as innocent as I want them to think? He must have been out of his mind to think that I was playing games with people. Clearly, something was broken in his brain.

He smoothed out his shirt, physically comprising himself. It made sense he got worked up easily if he was always inciting fights. “We went out on dates–two of them! We never even made it past almost kissing and you still think that I’m in it for your pussy. If that's what I wanted, I would have quit a long time ago.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, looking for anywhere else to look. Kelly was trying not to look while focusing heavily on her food. Embarrassment flowed through my body freely like water. My composure was faltering.

“Just for the record,” he said, voice softening, “I did not pressure you into anything. I asked you for a kiss all of maybe two times which you just obliged me in your fucking closet of all places.”

My cheeks were bound to become permanently red at this rate. I wanted to hide inside myself with how exposed he was making me feel.

It was annoying that he might have made sense. I was angry that my life had been turned upside down so quickly, spiraling into chaos. I was furious that I had little judgement skill in picking men when I thought I was doing as well as my mother hoped I would. A man being let into my inner circle, into my life, and turning out to be no good? It was my mom picking my dad in another life. Since her death, it was like I wasn’t trying to live at all. Hiding away and sheltering myself more than she ever would.

Everything felt like a mountain I couldn’t climb.

All I saw was my biggest fears coming to life.

And a world I knew nothing about revealing itself to me too late in life.