Elizabeth spent the next few days in constant fear of the repercussions of her actions. What had she been thinking? Why did she write that letter? She simply hadn’t been able to resist an opportunity to escape what she saw as an untenable situation. She had promised her father she would accept him, but if Mr. Darcy wanted to be released, she would not hold him. Truly, she was terrified of the future and angry over being forced into such a situation. Of course she would try to change her circumstances! Mr. Darcy was not the sort of man she had thought to marry, and she was terribly afraid her future would hold very little in the way of joy.

She had to admit to also feeling guilty about receiving his letter and affections. Mr. Darcy clearly felt strongly for her. And she was angry at him for feeling that way. What right did he have to come into her peaceful world and fall in love with her? To force her hand by speaking to her father before herself? To be so rich her father couldn’t refuse?

She had no way of knowing if his feelings were lasting or not, but he certainly believed they were. She read his letter with some measure of repulsion and increasing embarrassment, as if it was written for someone else and she was trespassing in a most intimate way. She couldn’t allow him to humiliate himself by continuing to speak and write to her in such a way, believing that she at least welcomed his affections even if she didn’t return them. It was all too much!

And now she had angered him. She had angered the man who would have ultimate power over her in a matter of weeks. The settlement had arrived shortly before Darcy’s letter and her father had happily signed it. It was done. Her mother and sisters had been told and she had an appointment with a dressmaker that afternoon. There was no turning back now.

But instead of marrying a man who loved her and wished to please her, she would marry a man who was angry at her and likely had no desire to please her at all; a man whom she had humiliated and attempted to jilt. What had she been thinking? Stupid, stupid, girl. Wretched, wretched mistake!

~