I wet my lips, biding my time before I respond. My throat has grown tight from his speech because . . . I can see the sincerity in his proposition. I can feel it. It’s so tempting to unload on someone else, to let them carry the nightmares, the worthless feelings I have of myself. But . . . he’s too good. The best, actually, and all I’d do is drag him down. I know this.

On a deep breath, I say, “I appreciate your honesty, Ryot. I really do.”

“Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ attached to that sentence?”

“Because there is.” I let go of his hand and turn so my back is against the couch, my eyes filling with tears. I can’t possibly look at him when I say this. “I like you, Ryot, so much that it scares me. I know what I have to offer, and it’s not much. I know the toll my past has taken on me and the negative thoughts I have in my head, the worthless thoughts I carry daily. And I don’t deserve to take any of your strength or your courage because I would take too much. I would become reliant on that.” I finally turn to face him. “You are big, Ryot. You have a life that you’re building on, that you’re creating, a great life that is only just beginning. Your dreams, your ambitions, they don’t align with my trajectory in life. And what’s going to end up happening is that I’ll hurt you. I know it. I can feel it in my bones. And I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to hurt you, so . . . I think that it’s best if we just stop talking to each other.”

He doesn’t answer right away as he continues to gaze at me. I can see his mind working, his brain attempting to figure out how to respond in the right way and not in a reactionary way.

After a few moments of silence, he leans forward on his thighs, and when he speaks, it’s quiet. “I’m not sure I’m the guy you think I am.” He clasps his hands in front of him. “I’m awkward, I’m unsure of myself on a daily basis. Hell, I went out with a girl once, and after that, sent her flowers once a day for a week. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing when it comes to this shit. All I know is that I like you, that I’ll be honest with you, and when or if you ever decide to let me into your world, I won’t hurt you. I’ll only protect you. I will always listen to you, acknowledge you, and hopefully, make you feel as special as I know you are.”

After a large sigh, he stands from the couch just as there is a knock on the door.

Great, the food is here.

Without saying a word, he grabs the food for us and then sets it on the kitchen counter. He doesn’t take a seat, and he doesn’t start dishing it out. He just leaves it on the counter and then faces me.