DrinkWithMe: And how do you plan on doing that?

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: You’ll see.

* * *

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: I want to send you something.

DrinkWithMe: Is it a stripper?

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: Do you like strippers?

DrinkWithMe: I’ve had positive experiences with both males and females. I love a good rack in my face and a bouncing willy. Will accept both.

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: I’ll put it on the list of things I can send you.

DrinkWithMe: Aren’t you a charmer?

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: But I do want to send you something, so I’m going to need an address.

DrinkWithMe: Hmm, not sure if you’ve earned it. Why don’t I just meet you at a neutral location, and you can hand it to me there?

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: I would love to hand deliver it, but unfortunately, I’m in Miami right now.

DrinkWithMe: Playing the baseball?

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: Yes, playing *the* baseball. I have a game tonight.

DrinkWithMe: Think you’re going to win?

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: Well, being that we’re the number-one team in the country, I would say yes.

DrinkWithMe: Wait, really?

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: You really have no clue, do you?

DrinkWithMe: No clue about what? I don’t follow sports, never been into them. I guess I don’t have a clue about anything.

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: So you don’t know that you’re talking to the guy with the second-best batting average in the country as well?

DrinkWithMe: What’s a batting average? Is that a sexual innuendo?

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: Christ. Just send me your address.

* * *

DrinkWithMe: I got a special delivery today.

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: And . . .

DrinkWithMe: Am I supposed to sleep with this?

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: Do you want to sleep with it?

DrinkWithMe: The nylon fabric does bring back old memories.

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: Well, I did send it to entice you.

DrinkWithMe: How is a Chicago Bobbies flag supposed to entice me?

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: A few ways. For one, it could remind you of how we first met.

DrinkWithMe: Nostalgia accomplished.

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: You could use it as a symbol of me and wrap it around yourself when you’re missing me.

DrinkWithMe: Not quite missing you just yet, but maybe in the future. Continue.

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: And it gets cold in Chicago, so it could be an extra layer for those wintry days.

DrinkWithMe: I do find that appealing.

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: And finally, you could hang it up in your room, so whenever you look at it, you think of me, the guy with the second-best batting average in the country.

DrinkWithMe: Hmm, sounds interesting. If only you had sent Velcro with it . . .

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: Did you look in the package? It’s there.

DrinkWithMe: Okay . . . I think you might have gotten me with the Velcro.

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: You’re an odd one to please.

* * *

DrinkWithMe: So there’s a billboard of you outside the restaurant I work at. Did you have them put it there on purpose? Also, your pants are tight. Very tight . . . that’s a supreme rear end you have there, Bisley.

Ryot.Bisley.Balls: If I knew where you worked, then I would have asked them to put up three billboards, but fortunately for me, this was all by chance. Also, thank you for the butt compliment. I do a lot of squats.