Yeah, I’m not sure that’s what I want. Sure, fate might have brought us together and keeps reconnecting us, but I’m not interested in continuing to leave it up to fate. Not after seeing her again. Not after being around her energetic, sassy, zero-fucks attitude again. I like her and want to spend more time with her.

And after all the flirting tonight and from the past, I’m a little confused by her answer. I would have sworn she wanted to start something just as much as I do.

“Why don’t you date?” I ask.

“Do you want the short version or the long version?”

I pop the end of the cone in my mouth. “I have time, so give me the long version.”

“Well, it’s the classic tale of not wanting to live my life by example.” She finishes her cone and then pulls her legs into her chest as she leans her side against the back of the bench. “My parents, even though they’re still together, have an absolutely terrible relationship. I’m not sure they actually love each other anymore. I think they just stay together because it’s easier than going through a divorce and everything that entails. Mom always followed Dad around from base to base even though she had a career of her own, and she began to resent him for it. She took it out on me. And I saw the ugly side of parenting, the ugly side of a relationship and marriage, and I want nothing to do with it.”

“Wow, I’m sorry, Myla. I’m sure that couldn’t have been an easy environment to grow up in.”

“It is what it is,” she says with a shrug, clearly not wanting to get into it.

“You do realize, though, that you’re a different person than your parents, right?”

“Yes,” she answers. “And I don’t believe I’d make the same mistakes as my parents, but I’m also not well educated on how to be a good partner. I don’t know what a healthy romantic relationship looks like, and I don’t want to subject anyone to my drama. So I just don’t bother.”

I slowly nod. “I can understand that, but you might be missing out, you know?”

“Are you saying that because I turned you down?”

“Well, yes, you’d be missing out on an amazing date with me, but more than that, you’re missing out on the opportunity to share the burden of your childhood with someone else. You know you don’t have to carry that baggage by yourself. There are people out there willing to help you carry it. And the right person won’t just carry it. They’ll unpack it until there isn’t much baggage left.”

She hugs her legs tighter as she looks away. “No one wants to do that with me. Trust me.” She sighs and drops her legs to the ground before standing. “Well, I should get back home. I’m sure you have an early-morning practice you have to get to.”

She’s distancing herself. It doesn’t take an expert to realize what’s going on. She opened herself up, allowed herself to be vulnerable, and now before she can be coaxed beyond her comfort zone, she’s shutting down. That’s okay because, even though this is the end of the evening, I know this isn’t the end for me.