“You okay?” he asks.

I nod and draw my finger down his chest. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Of course.”

I’ve been thinking about this all day, wanting to clear the air with him because we didn’t start the day off well. We had to make up in front of other people, and now that we’re here alone, I just want him to know how much he matters to me.

As much as I’ve been absolutely terrified thinking about Nichole’s cancer, I’ve also been thinking about why I didn’t try harder with Ryot. We did make vows, as I was reminded of when we danced at JP’s wedding. Vows to stick together no matter what life threw us. To love each other with everything we have. Unlike my mom, who did everything in her power to devalue me and wreck me, Ryot has never offered me anything but praise and positivity. Opposed to my dad, who never stood up for me, who abandoned me when I needed him the most—for his other family—Ryot has been my protector. My champion. I am the luckiest woman in the world.

“I know you said I don’t need to apologize, but I still want to. I’m sorry I put fear into your heart about where I stand when it comes to us. I need you to know that I never stopped loving you, Ryot. Never. Even when I handed you those divorce papers, I was still as much in love with you as I was the day we married. That has never changed. I just didn’t think I had the mental capacity to stay with you after going through those few months with The Jock Report.”

“I get it, baby. You don’t need to explain anything.”

“But I need you to know I was still very much in love with you.”

He nods and then quietly says, “That means a lot to me, because when we were in Napa and you weren’t saying I love you back, it nearly broke me.”

“I thought I’d break if I did say the words. I was protecting my heart and my head. As I said, you are the one person who can break me, yet also the one person who can put me back together.”

“I hope I’m putting you back together now.”

“You are.” I scoot in closer. “The way you handled everything today with Nichole, it means more to me than I think you’ll ever know. You stepped up. You protected me once again. And instead of walking away like others would have done, you stuck by my side. Without criticism. It’s the kind of man you are, one I will never find again in this lifetime. You are one of a kind, Ryot, and I am so freaking lucky to call you mine.”

He leans his forehead against mine. “I’m the lucky one.” His nose rubs against mine. “You create this sense of peace within me, Myla, and when I had to turn over those divorce papers, it was like the peace was snatched from my hands.” He slides his palm up my side and under my shirt. “I was trying to give you your space, but desperately attempting to figure out a way to get that peace back.” His hand slides past my stomach, past my breast, and lands right above my heart. “Your heartbeat is the cadence of my life, and without it in my palm, I’m an aimless wanderer. I don’t ever want to feel that again. Ever. And I swear to you, at this moment, where it’s just you and me, I will never take you for fucking granted again. You are everything to me, Myla. And I’m sorry that I lost sight of that.”