I remember our last harsh words to each other in the courtyard. I remember shoving her away roughly. I remember the look on Isolde’s stolen face when I drove the knife through—

“No.” I’m too tired to untangle all my feelings and smooth over hers. Too drained to face her. There will be time for all that later.

I peek up through my eyelashes. Raze has always looked best in firelight. Even now, with his washed-out complexion and the shadows under his eyes. It brings out the warmth in his cheeks and the gleam of copper in his hair. His brows draw close together as he stares deep into nothing, like he’s trying to figure out what to say. Finally, it all comes out in one rushed breath. “Fate, Seelie, I’m so sorry. I was useless, and I put you in danger. I don’t remember what happened, I just remember waking up and you saving me, and I can’t believe—”

I silence him with a scowl. “You were enchanted. Again. You couldn’t have helped it.” I try to crack a smile, and it sits lopsided on my face. “Besides, I kind of like saving you.”

I think he smiles back. His hands move, like he wants to do something with them but he isn’t sure what. After a moment, he clears his throat. “I... I should let you rest.”

His weight shifts as he starts to stand, and I catch onto another thought—one that’s been bothering me in the back of my mind for a while now, but which I only now have the courage to actually ask. “Wait.” I reach with my uninjured hand, tugging his sleeve.

Raze comes back, this time crouching beside the bed. He’s close enough now that I can actually see his face as he waits expectantly for me to speak.

Something snaps in the fire, and I swallow hard. My throat still feels dry, my head is fuzzy, and the feeling of magic searching for a release is a little overwhelming. I close my eyes, trying to ground myself. “I’m sorry.”

His head tilts, making his hair fall around his face. The ends brush my cheek. “What?”

I pause, struggling to form the thought in words. This one is just practice. Eventually, I’ll have to apologize to Isolde, too, and the thought makes me want to choke. Doubt wrinkles my feverish forehead. “My fault we were in danger. My portal. You almost died.”

Raze shifts subtly, looking a little nervous. Then his face relaxes, and he takes my hand, looking into my eyes like he has something very important to say that can’t be conveyed any other way. “I forgive you. And I hope you’ll forgive me.”

The way he says it makes me feel a little dizzy, for reasons I don’t understand. If we have the firedrake now, then he’s another step closer to taking back his place in his family, of breaking Leira’s iron hold. No wonder he’s feeling generous. I’ve messed up at every turn, and if we still have a chance to win now, that’s despite me not because of me. But he looks at me like he still thinks I’ll help him.