Uncomfortable was putting it mildly. I thought back to that first night with him, when I’d maybe slept for an hour in the end. Over the past week, I’d gotten a little better but not a lot. Twice I’d stayed up late, working on the couch until I fell asleep and lying awake once I went to Holden’s room.

“We’re both adults,” he said, and he suddenly seemed unsure of himself. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen Holden Henry unsure of himself. “We’re married. We might have physical needs, and I wouldn’t be opposed to crossing that line if you’re ever comfortable with it. That said, I’m okay if you’re not comfortable with it,” he said in a rush, then expelled his breath. He gave me a hesitant smile. “And so much for not making it awkward.”

“Where’s your strong home brew when we need it?” I asked to distract from the pounding of my heart and the flush of my cheeks.

He poured us both more champagne, and I didn’t argue.

“To awkward and uncomfortable,” I said, raising my glass, avoiding thinking too hard about what he’d just proposed. Semi-proposed? It wasn’t quite the passionate declaration of my dreams, but… Holden had just said he wouldn’t mind having sex. With me.

Because I was his wife.

Obviously I was convenient, and in any other situation, I’d probably be open to it. But in this one, the stakes were so sky-high. I was already on shaky ground trying not to let on how deep my feelings ran. It could destroy our friendship if he knew I’d imagined him naked a few hundred times.

Just as big of a risk was that, if we had sex, I’d have an even harder time keeping my heart unscathed. I was already concerned about a year from now, when we walked away from each other. If we dropped the boundaries physically, it would leave me even more vulnerable. I knew without a doubt I’d be the one whose heart got crushed in that breakup. Maybe it would anyway, but I had to do whatever I could to try to prevent that. Keeping my pajamas on would play a key part.

“Forget I said all of that,” he said after gulping half his champagne. “I’m thinking we should get a hotel room somewhere for tonight—with two beds if you want. It wouldn’t look right for us to show up back in Dragonfly Lake a couple hours after tying the knot.”

“Good thinking.” Yet another thing I hadn’t gotten around to considering. “What time do you work tomorrow?”

“I need to be there by eleven at the latest.”