Back Unleaving
Chapters (31)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Dedication
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  31. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Linnie brought one of Maggie’s ringlets close for an inspection and then wound the curl around her finger until the frizz was pressed out and the strands were smoothed to a sheen. “You remind me of myself a long time ago. Caught and nearly gutted.”

Maggie thought about this. “How did you get loose?”

“I just learned to avoid the hook. What did my old therapist say?” She mimicked a prying expression. “‘You’ve detached, Linnie.’” She rolled her eyes. “No shit.” She released Maggie’s curl, rolled onto her back, and raised her head an inch to free her own hair. After spreading it out over the pillow, she relaxed with a noisy exhalation. “Anything swimming too fast or too slow in my vicinity looks like bait, so I don’t bite.” Her forearm fell across her forehead. “Avoid, avoid, avoid, Margaret. That’s my mantra.”

The words planted a sickness in Maggie’s belly. Avoidance. Of everything? A musty basement, keening wind, stand of trees, crashing waves—all triggers. What would the next one be? “Then how do you know what’s safe?”

“You don’t. You surge ahead, faster and faster. That’s what I do. But it’s no good. I have to try something different—see a doctor, get back into therapy, straighten myself out … stop. I know I do.” She closed her eyes and thrust up her chin, exposing her neck. “Just stop. I’m so tired.”

The roof began to ping with rain. “Do you think you can get better?” Maggie asked. The question for the oracle: Can you? Can I?

Linnie opened her eyes and stared hard at the ceiling.

Maggie saw her swallow. Fear was plain in Linnie’s face. Was she remembering Sunday night and Kate’s running away?

“A week ago,” Linnie said gruffly, “I would have told you no, it’s hopeless. I’d given up, given up on myself—decided if I couldn’t help but be a shitty mom like mine was, Kate shouldn’t have to witness it. But Kate…” Sadness and affection loosened her features. Her lip trembled. She caught it in her teeth. After a moment, she said in a choked voice, “Kate won’t give up on me. So I’ll get better … because I have to. Because I love her.”

To the sound of rain drumming the roof, Maggie and Linnie fell asleep side by side. It was a short-lived nap. Maggie jerked awake when the aunt called from downstairs, “Margaret! Some friends here to see you.”

Surprised, Maggie struggled out of her cocoon of blankets.

“Who…?” Her brow creased in sleepy confusion, Linnie pushed herself up more slowly and armed her hair away from her flushed face.

Ran appeared at the top of the stairs. Her gaze flitted to Linnie, then back to Maggie. “Mind if we come up?” she asked anxiously.