OK. But my place and you pay for Uber.

Deal.

I send him a winking/kissy face with a heart on the lips. He sends one back and my phone dings: Permit address share? I click Yes, get an image of a crackling fireplace and the message Have a Fiery Night! Since Uber arrival isn’t for another twenty minutes, I clean up the bedroom, throw dirty clothes into the hamper, and finally sit on the couch drinking a beer and scrolling through Firestarter until he buzzes.

He’s heavier than the photos he’s shared.

“Hey, you,” he says, trying to sound sexy. His lips curl slightly at the edges when he smiles, and there’s something almost like attraction.

“Hi.”

“You’re shorter than your photos.”

“I rounded up,” I admit.

“That’s cool. I have to work early. Okay if we just fuck?”

“Sure, let’s do the couch.”

As much as I hate ForPlay, it does help guys with fingering. Men are always stroking their phones on the subway, listening to some female-app voice moan in their earbuds as they practice techniques. Clearly it’s helped this guy. He gets me off while kissing my neck and whispering, “You’re awesome.” Then he wants to do anal, even though my profile specifically states I don’t do that on first dates. I remind him about that, and he says it’s a letdown but if I’m up for swallowing, he’ll be happy enough. So I get him off like he wants and he gets dressed.

“Thanks,” he says. “I’ll give you a positive rating.”

“I’ll do the same,” I lie.

After he’s gone, I log back onto the computer and pull up private browsing to search for a cozy clip. There’s a whole bunch of hiking clips, a winter skiing vacation with friends, and a surprise birthday party that usually makes me happy. But none of those work tonight. I finally find a holiday scene with wrapped presents and a handsome man sitting cross-legged by a Christmas tree.

“Hey, Mandy!” he says to the camera, holding his arms out wide. “Come sit by me.” And I feel the sudden expansion of my heart, the tears arriving right on cue.

Pause. Reverse. Play.

Pause. Reverse. Play.

Pause. Reverse. Play.