‘Through my negligence and stupidity. I was so hasty to go out and enjoy myself that I forgot to turn off the propane gas bottle in the kitchen. My father switched the light on, then the spark of electricity ignited the gas,’ he said, his voice full of guilt and self-loathing.

‘Is that what the fire brigade said or what you believe happened?’ Jane asked.

‘They said it was a gas leak, so it had to be the propane bottle. I was last out of the kitchen that night. It was my responsibility to check the bottles were turned off . . . and I obviously didn’t.’

Jane remembered the burn marks on his mother’s cherished recipe book. Now she knew why it was so precious to him.

‘You can’t blame yourself and let it eat away at you, Chris. I dealt with a case where a faulty gas bottle accidently exploded in a garage.’

‘This bottle wasn’t faulty, Jane. If it were, we would have smelt the gas before that fateful night.’

‘No one smelt gas in my case, either. The truth is, you don’t know whether or not you turned the gas off or if the bottle was faulty. Sometimes we carry so much guilt and doubt, we blame ourselves for what happens to others, but you have to learn to move on.’

‘My brother blamed me. We haven’t spoken since it happened, which was ten years ago.’

‘Does he know you became a priest?’ she asked.

Father Chris shook his head. ‘I couldn’t face him or my demons, which is why I left Malta. At first, I was suicidal and confessed to a priest. He said suicide would be a mortal sin in the eyes of God, a sin that defies the love I owed Him. His words had a positive influence on me. I believed if I placed myself in the hands of God, He would forgive me and see me safely through life.’

‘Believe me, Chris, the world is a better place with honest, caring priests like you in it.’

‘That’s kind of you to say. Anyway, that’s the end of my story. Now, would you like some kwarezimal and a coffee?’

‘You’re tempting me,’ she said with a smile. ‘But sadly, I have to get back to work.’

‘I’ll walk you to your car.’

*

After calming his father down, Nick left him asleep in bed. Driving his Range Rover up St Mary’s Lane, Nick thought he saw Jane’s Mini Cooper. He pulled over, deciding to play a joke on her. He looked in the glovebox and found an old parking ticket to place under her windscreen wiper. As he was about to get out of his car, he saw Jane emerging from an alleyway beside the church, talking to a man in a grey tracksuit. Nick closed the car door and watched in his wing mirror.