I am very afraid of him and I hate him, but I don’t tell him that, I tell him to please stop it because it isn’t a funny joke anymore, and, and I tell him I am a good girl, and I am only sixteen, with no experience with any man, and I think about Albert Fuchs and how he kissed me right after he threw his tefillin from the ship, down into the river it went, and I ask him why did he do this, and he says he wants to start a new life, he heard you got to be an American in America, and we watch the tefillin floating in the water and there are dozens of other tefillin, all flying into the water from the ship, all the men are throwing their tefillin into the river, and they are all just floating there, but they must sink sooner or later, and by now the bottom of New York harbor must be covered with thousands of tefillin, while New York fills up with all the men who want to start fresh, and they don’t have tefillin anymore, so they can begin again.

Now I am begging for Jacobs to leave me be, I have tears running down my face and I am wailing and blubbering like a little girl, but he gets excited from this, and suddenly he takes the fabric of my shirtwaist in his two hands and he tears it open right across the front, and then he tears my bodice and I am naked in front of him and he puts those hands on my bare bosoms and he twists my nipples so hard it hurts me. And he pushes me onto the dirty floor of the toilet and he tears at my clothing and starts to push up my skirt, and I fight him, I fight him so hard, I scratch his face with my nails and I try to stick my finger in his eye and I grab hold of his hair, and he roars at me then, and he hits me hard in the side of my face with his fist, so hard I have a ringing in my head for a minute, and the next thing I know he is on top of me and he has his own clothing open, and he is putting himself inside of me, pushing and pushing like the animal that he is, and grunting like the pig that he is, and I am crying, and he rubs his Sabbath beard on my face and I smell the onions in his lunch and I can’t breathe, and then he pushes extra hard and he makes a disgusting noise in his throat, a greedy horrible noise, like he is so happy to steal his pleasure from me, and then he is done and I feel the mess he has made on me, inside me and between my legs, and he rolls off me and sits up, and he takes the hem of my skirt and he wipes himself with my skirt, and he makes a smear of blood, and I know this is not the worst thing he has done, but this, this is the thing that bothers me so much, and it makes me feel completely hurt and upset for some reason, and I start to wail, I start to cry like a baby who has been left all alone in the world, and he stands up and adjusts all his clothes and fixes himself to look presentable like the gentleman he pretends to be, and he kicks me with his shoe, and I just keep wailing, lying there curled up on the floor of the toilet, and he kicks me again and he says, Look sister, I got to lock up, so you got to go out now, and you better pull yourself together.