CAMILLE shrugs, it wasn’t actually a compliment.

JESSICA: Go on.

I’ll babysit Angus.

CAMILLE: Jess I can look after him.

JESSICA: Yes yes, of course.

Beat.

LACHLAN hugs CAMILLE.

LACHLAN: Great.

[To SIMON] So it’s all sorted. When do we play?

SIMON: I don’t—

There’s not enough court time for three of us.

[To LACHLAN] I will play another time with you.

JESSICA: They’re very competitive.

You should see Simon’s face when he’s lost!

LACHLAN: Or we could play doubles with my mate Dave—he plays at the same courts.

Said he saw you there with your beautiful wife the other day.

JESSICA: I’ve never been there.

LACHLAN: Really?!

JESSICA: Yeah, it’s an hour’s drive away!

So who’s the mystery girl there then?

SIMON: I have no idea.

She punches him playfully.

JESSICA: Hey let’s ask Andy to the hospital Christmas party.

SIMON: Andy’s just a squash mate.

JESSICA: He never comes to anything.

CAMILLE: Is he good looking?

—

My sister’s single.

JESSICA: I don’t know, I’ve never met him.

Is he Simon?

SIMON: Ask Matt to come, he’s single.

CAMILLE: No.

He’s not for my sister.

JESSICA: He’s gorgeous. /

CAMILLE: Not her type.

And I don’t want to mix work and home.

JESSICA: It’s Christmas—perfect time to mix work and home!

In fact—Simon…

SIMON: What?

JESSICA: I kind of volunteered you!

LACHLAN: Uh oh.

SIMON: For what?

JESSICA: If it’s alright with you.

You don’t have to—

SIMON: What is it?!

JESSICA: The usual guy is away—

And I know you’re a little bit young, but with the costume—

SIMON: What are you talking about?

JESSICA: We all agreed the kids’ll love you.

She starts humming a playful ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’.

LACHLAN smiles and it dawns on SIMON.

SIMON: No.

JESSICA: [laughing, thinking he doesn’t mean it] Thanks, you’re a sweetie.

SIMON: No.

JESSICA: What?

SIMON: No.

I can’t do it.

JESSICA: You’ll be gorgeous babe.

Anyway it’s good practice… /

LACHLAN: For parenthood.

JESSICA: Yeah!

Brief awkwardness.

LACHLAN: Which I can highly recommend by the way.

Parenthood.

CAMILLE: [almost under her breath] Yeah.

Of course you can.

LACHLAN: Hey I heard that. You recommend it too, honey.

CAMILLE looks at him deadpan.

JESSICA: So Santa!

SIMON: No love.

You’ll have to find someone else.

JESSICA: But I volunteered you—

LACHLAN: Can’t be a scrooge at Christmas time. /

SIMON: So you do it.

LACHLAN: Well I would but /—

CAMILLE: You’re looking after Angus

Beat.

JESSICA: [to SIMON] You’ll look really handsome with that white beard.

SIMON: No Jessica.

JESSICA: But /—

SIMON: I said no!

SCENE TWO

Later.

SIMON stares at his trunk.

He is visibly distressed and anxious.

He stands there, staring at it.

JESSICA: [offstage] Simon.

Simon.

Where are you?

Are you here?

Simon!