I’m tired of fighting life.

Mamaw seemed to sit beside me, and I was a boy again. Words about Jesus and truth rolled through my mind.

The words to Shelby’s poem, the one I found in her Bible, seemed to haunt me. Every time I tried to toss them aside, they walked back into my head . . . and heart.

Why do I remember

The sins that stalk my soul?

Why can’t I hold on to the

Forgiveness that makes me whole?

Ashes rise to steal my breath.

I choke from drowning fear.

Help me, Lord, to cling to You

In never-ending prayer.

I walked the same misery as Shelby once had.

Six hours later I peered up at the night sky. Lord, I surrender my life to You. Save me from myself.

47

Strange how a decision to accept what I couldn’t see or touch ushered in optimism. Especially when the world spun on an unbalanced axis. This morning my crutch and swing routine seemed lighter. I made it to the stables faster than the day before. For certain, my light steps were due to my new faith.

I walked inside and leaned against Big Red’s stall. Taking my phone from my jean pocket, I pressed in Mom and Dad’s number. Mom answered.

“Two calls in a week, Son? This must be good.”

“I think so. I became a Christian.”

“Oh, my.” She wept softly. “Denny, I’m so happy for you. Can’t wait to tell your dad. He ran to the post office.”

“I figured you’ve prayed for me for a long time, so you should know first.”

“We both have. What brought about the change?”

“The right people and circumstances turned me around.”

“A woman?”

“In a way.”

“Are you getting married?”

“No, Mom.” Then it hit me how much of a role Shelby had played and how much I did care. “Maybe in the future. A lot’s riding on our relationship. Some issues need to be worked out first.”

“Denny, you have such a kind heart. Whatever it is, don’t let another woman break your heart.”

“Thanks, Mom. Andy and Lisa are supposed to be together. I’m glad for them.”

“Brice is another matter,” Mom said.

“It will work out. He reached out to me not too long ago, so I’ll call him.”

“My dear boy. Your words are like music.”

“The Beatles?”

She laughed. “Somewhere between ‘Let It Be’ and ‘Twist and Shout.’”

“Mom, don’t ever change. Love you, and I’ve got to go. Working on a tough case, but when it’s over, I’ll be home for a visit. Give Dad a hug for me.”

My next call to Brice lasted all of three minutes. I told him about my new faith and my desire to be a better part of the family. “I hope we can be brothers again. And friends.”

“Uh, sure. Don’t know what to say . . . Thanks.”

I slipped my phone back into my pocket and checked in with Big Red. “I’m going to see Shelby. Tell her my spiritual life took a boost.” He nudged me. “Yeah, I miss her. Sorry you can’t take me, but until this leg heals, I’m using a different kind of horsepower. The one and only car rental business in Valleysburg has delivered a compact Chevy, giving me a little freedom. But I prefer you.” I patted him and drove the half mile to Shelby’s cabin. If Sheriff Wendall saw me driving with one foot and one hand, I’d be ticketed.