But he gave me no respite. After I had expressed doubt about surviving long enough to see Mathuin brought to justice, should we make the decision to try, he told me more about the monastery in Mide where we could be offered a safe place to stay—as there were religious sisters in a separate part of that establishment, I would be welcome, he said, though I might have to keep quiet about being a wise woman. Flannan was using the pigeons at St. Olcan’s to keep in contact with that very monastery, where one of the brothers was an ally. He gave me more names; explained where they were all located and their parts in the plan. He reminded me of how much I had to offer. He assured me that this time it would work. He came close to criticizing me for getting too caught up with Geiléis and her monster.

After four visits of this kind, I snapped. He had brought up that most hurtful argument again, the one about Cass, and I turned on him. “Stop it! Don’t say another word! I’m starting to wonder if you really know me, Flannan. I’m starting to wonder if you’re still the man you were. In case you’ve forgotten, we did discuss how Geiléis and her creature could provide us with the perfect cover for slipping away from Dalriada more or less unnoticed. That was the idea, wasn’t it—that we’d leave quietly once I’ve done whatever I need to do at the tower? I’m more than capable of making up my own mind without constant pushing. I’m surprised and disappointed that I need to tell you that. Now I’ll bid you farewell, and I don’t want to see you again until the day of the cleansing ritual. That’s if you plan to be present; I doubt Father Tomas would approve.”

He gathered his cloak and staff in silence. He’d left Ripple behind this time, because of the rain. “If that’s what you want,” he muttered. “I thought it was important to you. The most important thing in the world.”

“It is,” I said. “So important that I need no reminding. It’s in my thoughts every moment, even when I’m asleep. Now go. We’ll talk about this another time. A time of my choosing.”

He put his cloak on and headed for the door without another word.

• • •

The weather cleared at last, the sun shone, and Grim could no longer use the rain as an excuse for delaying his walk to St. Olcan’s.

“You could go up this morning,” I said as we sat at breakfast, just the two of us, since I had told Senach we were happy to serve ourselves. “Talk to the brothers, have a look at the building that’s worst affected, this scriptorium, and see if they really do have all the materials you’ll need.”

“Mm-hm.” Grim chewed on his bread, not looking at me.

“If you’re worried about going up on your own after what happened before, then I’m sure Senach can find someone to walk with you. I don’t think Flannan will be here today.”