"Arch," I said tentatively as he sipped his cocoa, "does Lettie have pierced ears?"

"Oh, no, Mom, don't start. Do not buy Lettie anything."

"I just asked - "

"Why do you want to know? Are you going to pierce them for her if she doesn't?"

"I just thought - "

"That you'd buy something for her for Christmas. The way you always do."

"Arch! I have never bought a female friend of yours a single thing for Christmas!"

"Remember those two Valentine's Days, when you went out and bought big baskets of candy and stuffed animals for girls you thought I was going out with?"

"But you were - "

He turned to face me. "I was not going out with them," he said fiercely. "I wanted to buy them bags of M&M's. But oh, no, good old Mom had to buy the most expensive baskets possible." His tone was scathing. "And then you were all upset when you found out I wasn't going out with the girl you just bought all that stuff for. Mom, you can't buy me a girlfriend."

I took a slug of cocoa and told myself to be patient. "I thought you told me Lettie was your girlfriend."

"Yeah, and I wish I hadn't told you anything."

"Arch!"

"Don't buy her anything!"

"Don't worry!" I shot back.

Arch turned toward his window with much aggravated shuffling of his down jacket. Suddenly I deeply regretted offering to take him snowboarding this morning, especially since I had just remembered Arthur Wakefield informing me that the mountain would be closed for a few hours for the Forest Service investigation into Doug's accident. I sighed and glanced at Arch. If he'd been so worried about me last night that he'd canceled his overnight with Todd, why wasn't he being nice this morning? Ah, adolescence. In any event, if Lettie wanted little silver pine trees dangling from her earlobes, the girl was out of luck.

We passed the lake, and I tried to put Lettie out of my head. Streetlights ringing the snow-covered sweep of ice revealed a lone fisherman with a lamp attached to his cap. I could not imagine how cold he was. No fish could taste that good.

I snuggled into my warm leather seat. The gorgeous Rover boasted every possible amenity, and gave a smooth ride, to boot. Julian had been wonderful to loan it to me. When it struck me that Julian could find out what Lettie wanted for Christmas, I instantly banished the thought. Perhaps I was trying to buy a Christmas present, a girlfriend, and happiness for my son.

No more.

-9- By the time I gingerly pulled the Rover onto the interstate, ski traffic was flowing steadily westward. Cars and trucks hummed through the Eisenhower Tunnel. Arch was asleep, or pretending to be. West of the Divide, the snow had finally stopped. A bank of thick white clouds clung to the far mountaintops. Above it, an azure-tinted sky promised sunshine. From the high drifts lining the roadway, wide swathes of snow blew across the lane dividers and obscured them. I was too timid to take my eyes off the road to see if there were any signs of my accident. The last thing I needed was to total another vehicle.