Within ten minutes the kitchen was filled with the enticing fragrance of herb-flavored roast pork. I started the rice cooking in the homemade beef stock and turned my attention to the library-reception cookie recipe. As I carefully mixed dry ingredients into the creamy, bronze dough, my injured arm began to ache. My mind's eye raced backward to the van plummeting down the snowy slope. Really, it was a miracle I'd survived.

I mixed the chopped chocolate, dried cherries, chocolate chips, and nuts into the batter. A van behind me . . . Yes, I vaguely remembered now, it had been one of those shuttle vehicles that ran between the ski resorts and Denver International Airport. But another vehicle close behind the van? I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to remember. Nothing came.

As I scooped the chocolate-cherry-nut-studded batter onto cookie sheets, I recalled reading many an article about high-country drivers fleeing scenes of weather-related accidents. Sticking around on a snowy, slick roadside in poor visibility could be more hazardous than taking off. At least, that's what hit-and-run drivers claimed after a snowstorm, if they were apprehended - a rare occurrence.

The thermometer beeped. I removed the sizzling pork, checked the timer on the luxuriantly scented wild rice, and slapped in the first cookie sheet. A wave of fatigue swept over me. It was past eleven. I had to finish the cookies and let the meat and rice cool. Then I could go to bed.

But something kept nagging at me - something besides the death of Doug Portman, besides the threatening poison patches, besides even the accident. What was it? I sifted through my emotions. What was I feeling? Numb.

Snowboarders' Pork Tenderloin

2 1/2 pounds pork tenderloin (2 tenderloins) 1/2 CUp Dijon-style mustard 1 tablespoon pressed garlic (4 large or 6 small cloves)

1/4 cup best-quality dry red wine 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil 1 tablespoon dried thyme, crushed 1/2 bay leaf 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar

Trim fat and "silver skin" from tenderloins. Rinse, pat dry, and set aside. Place all the other ingredients in a glass pan and whisk together well. Place tenderloins in the pan, turn them to cover with the marinade, cover the pan with plastic wrap, and place in the refrigerator for 6 hours, or overnight.

Thirty minutes before you plan to roast the pork, remove the tenderloins from the refrigerator to come to room temperature.

Preheat the oven to 400 F. Use a roasting pan with a rack; line the bottom of the pan with foil and place the tenderloins on the rack. Roast the tenderloins until an instant-read thermometer inserted in the center registers 140"F - about 20 to 25 minutes. Do not overcook the pork: the center should still be pink when served. Remove from the oven and slice.

Makes 10 servings

Chocolate Coma Cookies

1 cup blanched slivered almonds 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate (2 1/3 1.5-ounce bars of Godiva Dark or 1 1/2 3-ounce bars of Lindt bittersweet chocolate) 1 cup dried tart cherries 12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips (1 regular-size bag) 2 cups rolled oats 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon baking soda l/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened 1 cup packed dark brown sugar 1 cup granulated sugar 2 eggs 1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract