The next thing that happened was a sign, one I didn’t read correctly. I was woken in the middle of the night by the sound of singing. At first I blended it into my dream. Then I opened my eyes. Adam’s crib was empty. I got up and went into the hallway. The singing was coming from Nat’s room. I opened the door. She was lying in her bed, Adam beside her sucking on her pinky. She blushed and muttered something about wanting to give me a few more minutes of sleep. I was furious. I took the baby back into my room, locked the door, and nursed him. The next morning, Craig thought I had overreacted. “She wanted to give you a little sleep.”

“He needs a feed in the night,” I said. “I am his mother. I don’t mind doing it. It’s normal.”

“Daphne,” he pleaded, in a voice of contained exasperation.

I kept the baby with me all the next day. Nat pretended nothing had happened and she didn’t try to take Adam from me. She busied herself with the other kids, cooked dinner, and then she put her coat on. We all looked at her, confused. She explained that she had to look in on her husband and tidy up her house. She would be back Monday. It was Thursday. I knew she was punishing me for what had happened the night before. Mrs. Covet was letting me know that she could live without my children. The question was: Could we live without her? The long weekend was tough, as it turned out, but we made it. It was nice just being the family again. We ordered in pizza, watched a movie, went out to breakfast. We were sloppy. The kids got into our bed on Sunday morning and we had all three of them with us. It felt good. But when Nat appeared on Monday morning, I was glad to see her, happy to hand over the baby so I could bring the boys to school, come home, and take a nap. When I got home, though, Nat’s truck was gone. I walked into the house, calling her name. I went into every single room. I went to the basement, where the washing machine was. I went into the yard. My heart was racing; tears stung my eyes. The first thing I thought of was, she had to drive him to the hospital. He stopped breathing. That was what happened with Virginia.