HOSS: Backsteppin Crow Bait. Backsteppin.

CROW: Counter meatface. Shuck it. The marks show clean through. Gauzy. Limpid to the bone. Look to the guard. That’s where it hides. Lurkin like a wet hawk. Scuffle mark. Belt mark. Tune to the raw rumble. Tune chain. Chain. Chunk it meatface. Chunk this. Get off your ropeadope and chunk.

(REF steps in and stops it.)

REF: Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it! Let’s go to some neutral corners here. Both of you. Come on. Get to your corners.

HOSS: (to REF) What’s the deal?

REF: Get to some neutral ground! I gotta reference this.

HOSS: Reference?

REF: Yeah, that’s right. Reference. My books don’t show this. I’m looking for jabs and hooks. Jab, jab, hook. Jab, jab, hook. That’s the way I recognize it. I’m not seeing that.

HOSS: I didn’t call you in here to analyze! Just score it!

CROW: Corn Belt Boogie!

HOSS: (to CROW) You stay outa this!

(BECKY enters with CHASER and DOC close behind.)

BECKY: Hoss! Hoss, we been clipped.

HOSS: What is this! I’m in a deadlock here! I can’t even get off the mat.

CHASER: Eyes linked through the Net Web and got straight to the Keepers. Wanted to set this match up legit and they went thumbs down on him. Won’t sanction it, won’t even recognize it.

HOSS: What!

REF: (leafing through reference book) Here. Here’s something here—(reads) “If a player shows any tendency toward unconsciousness, i.e., his tongue lolls out; his eyes roll; his breathing goes from bad to worse—”

HOSS: Somebody get this meatball outa here! I’m trying to fight a duel!

(DOC goes to REF and gently persuades him to pack up his gear and leave.)

HOSS: (to CHASER) What do you mean they won’t sanction it? I’m in the top ten right? At least the top ten. I’m rising! I’m rising! They gotta give me a clean shot at this! It’s automatic!

BECKY: He’s a Gypsy, Hoss. Outside. They just won’t ratify.

(CROW starts doing a little hop and shuffle dance, singing softly to himself.)

CROW: (sings to himself)

Doo dah, doo dah
Camptown race is five miles long
Doo dah, doo dah
Camptown ladies sing this song
All dee doo dah day

(CROW continues in his own world as the rest of the dialogue goes on. He sings and dances demonically in the background.)

CROW: (continued)

Gwaanah run all night
Gwannah run all day
Bet my money on dee bobtail nag
Somebody bet on dee bay

HOSS: (simultaneous, over the top of crow) He’s nothin! He’s a freak! He’s a corpse with clothes on! A haint! Look at him! How did he get in here!

BECKY: There’s no point going head-to-head with him when it doesn’t even count, Hoss.