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Dedication

For my nanny, who refused to watch the second VHS tape of Titanic. She made me feel so cherished; her love shines in me still. And always will.

CHAPTER 1

JULIA

“His penis looks like your shrimp.”

Julia Carpenter paused, chopsticks hovering near her lips as she stared at her friend Andie, seated on the other side of their regular lunch booth in Tasty Thai. Next to Julia, their friend Kat hid a snicker in her noodles.

“What?” Andie reached across the table for Julia’s phone. “Am I wrong?” She tilted the image on the screen toward them for comparison. “See?”

“Well,” Kat snickered again, “maybe her shrimp looks like his penis.”

The shrimp in question slipped from between Julia’s chopsticks and landed back in her bowl with a squicky splat. She set the utensils down and made a grab for her phone. “Stop waving that thing around.”

Kat and Andie both snickered this time.

Julia resisted the urge to join in their juvenile appreciation of the unintentional innuendo and plucked her phone from Andie’s grasp. But when she glanced at the screen, she had to admit the male anatomy currently on display did bear an unfortunate resemblance to the shrimp in her pad kee mao. And now she was snickering too. Really, it was either laugh or cry. Shaking her head, she deleted the image sent by her most recent dating fail. “Why do guys think we like looking at pictures of their junk?”

“Because they like looking at ours.” Andie shrugged. “How often does a dick pic come accompanied by the eloquent request to”—she paused and lowered her voice to dude-bro level—“send me your nudes?”

“All the time.” Kat rolled her eyes as she sipped her tea.

“And how often do you comply?” Andie crossed her arms and rested against the back of the booth, one dark brow arched.

Kat’s full lips pursed around the rim of her cup. “Never.” She swallowed and added, “Well, there was that one time…”

Andie’s other eyebrow jumped to join its twin as she leaned forward. “What?”

“I’m kidding.” Kat’s smile was wicked. “What about you, Jules?”

“Not on purpose.” Julia picked up the teapot and poured out a measure of steaming liquid.

“Now you’re the one who’s kidding,” Kat insisted.

“It was one time, and it was just my butt.” Julia lifted her teacup, inhaling the soothing scent of jasmine while enjoying the looks of fascinated horror on her friends’ faces. “And it was an accident.”