“No. There’s nothing to say, right? I’m not going to cry to you about poor little me just as you’re arriving home from a full day on set. I’m happy for you, Lauren. You are the most deserving person I could imagine. I’m just…not myself.”

“I know.” Lauren sighed. She rolled her lips in, thoughtful. “I feel like you resent me.”

“I know.” Carly didn’t offer a further explanation, which was a shitty thing to do.

After a long moment, Lauren nodded and headed up the winding staircase, deflated. Carly didn’t hear anything from her for a couple of hours. Finally, she headed up. What she found surprised her: Lauren had packed her belongings.

“Wait. What are you doing?”

“I’m gonna get out of your hair.” She faced Carly with a watery smile.

“What? No. That’s not necessary. You’re welcome to stay here.”

“Welcome?” She laughed through her sadness. “That’s very hospitable of you, Carly, but I think I’d want to be more than just welcome. More than tolerated. I want you to want me here, and that’s not happening anymore.”

A long pause. “I do want you here.” It sounded unconvincing even to her own ears. The thing was that underneath all the stuff clogging her brain, she did want Lauren by her side. Why couldn’t she fight for them?

Lauren nodded. “I can tell.” She placed a hand on her hip and appeared to be sorting through her words. “I think you’re going through a hard time, and I’m making it worse. I’m going to grab a hotel near the studio, and we can regroup later. How does that sound?”

“Lauren,” Carly said softly. She hated everything about the idea but, at the same time, didn’t have the emotional fortitude to wage an effective argument.

“Hey,” Lauren said, coming around the bed and taking Carly’s hand. “It’s probably for the best. You get a chance to catch your breath from all of this without me on top of you.”

“I like you on top of me,” Carly said, attempting to make a joke, but not fully nailing it.

Lauren squeezed her hand, understanding the underlying meaning. “Let’s get back to that soon, okay?” Carly nodded in response. Lauren tried to smile. “That’s what I want, anyway.”

She watched Lauren’s normally self-assured demeanor fade, showing cracks in her confidence in their possible future together. That was Carly’s fault. Maybe Lauren was right. Maybe if she got some space, she could pull herself out of this self-imposed isolation and work on being a confident person. Honestly, she’d settle for recognizing herself in the mirror again.

“You sure about this?” Carly asked, sliding her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. “Because I’m not.”