Yet she wore a smile more vibrant than the sun when she turned to look at me. She gave me a small nod so as to not disturb the infant in her arms.

“She takes care of the abandoned children,” Cion continued.

His words rang through me. Abandoned children?

I knew the Desert Boys were mostly abandoned children or third children their parents could no longer hide, but they could care for themselves. These were babies, children tossed away by parents who had to make the choice of which child to give water to, which one to save, when rations got cut further because of the drought. Their only crime was being born after their siblings.

“They’re so quiet,” I said.

“They stop crying once they realize no one will answer them,” Insa supplied. “But it’s better that way. The less the guards hear, the better.”

I couldn’t tear my eyes away from their tiny frames.

Their mouths opened and closed, looking for food, water, something to sustain them.

Two buckets. That’s all we’d brought for these children. I knew we were doing another raid, but would any of that water be brought to Insa and the infants in her care?

I’d drunk more water in a day than those infants would get in a month. I’d bathed in bucketful after bucketful of water until the tub was so full water spilled over the sides and was swallowed by the earth. I’d been so wasteful.

I finally understood what Cion had meant that first day at the well, that people would’ve killed to drink the bloody water Sievers had used to wash my wounds. You’ll drink anything when it’s your only chance at survival.

The pressure of that knowledge combined with the heat of the room and lack of water over the past few days made everything start to spin. Cion caught me before I could drop my bucket of water. He gently took it and handed it to Insa.

“Maybe you should rest a moment,” she said, her eyes wrinkled with concern. She shot a look toward Cion, who nodded at her as though he agreed that was best.

“Take all the time you need,” she said as she disappeared through the doorway.

I wanted to cry that I didn’t need to rest. But my throat was so dry and my legs didn’t want to hold me up anymore.

I knelt down next to the closest makeshift crib. A baby slept peacefully, his chest slowly rising and falling.

I never saw babies around the palace. Most nobles had maids who cared for the children, keeping them out of their hair until the children were old enough to behave.

The baby’s tiny hand rested atop the woven blanket. I placed my hand over it. His face scrunched together, but he didn’t wake. I wondered if that’s what my brother would’ve looked like. I couldn’t stop tears from springing to my eyes.

“Are you okay?” Cion knelt down next to me.