My father stood right in front of the bars. A hair closer and the tigers would be able to tear a slit in his gut. He had stood there so often, he knew exactly how near he could get.

“We caught another of the Desert Boys,” he had said with his back to me. But I knew he was smiling. “Pick one.”

I hadn’t understood what he was talking about. But then he gestured to the two tigers.

He’d always taken joy in selecting the tiger that would be present in the arena when a trial was needed, as if he alone controlled the outcome of what would happen based on his selection.

When I didn’t respond, he turned toward me. “Are you afraid of them?” There was disappointment in his voice. I could tell he’d hoped this would be something we’d share. Something we would do together.

He snapped his fingers and a servant entered through a side door, carrying a platter of raw rat meat. My father picked up the biggest slice and dangled it in front of the cage. He had walked it back and forth, watching the tigers claw at every available surface to get to it. But I couldn’t tell if the tigers wanted to get to the meat or him more.

Eventually he pointed to each tiger. “I want both taken to the arena today.” My father handed over the key from around his neck.

I knew what was coming next, and yet I couldn’t move. I couldn’t flee.

The servant gently moved my shoulder aside and slid the key into the lock. The chains clunked backward, forcing the tigers to go with them. Then he handed the key back to my father.

The servant disappeared into the other room for a moment and reappeared with two men in metal armor thicker than that of any soldier. They had two long poles with ropes on the end. They entered the cage and moved toward the first tiger my father had pointed at. One man would loop his rope around the tiger’s neck and pull so tightly the tiger could barely breathe. Then the other man would remove the chain and loop his own rope around the tiger’s neck so that both men could work to control the beast—choking it anytime it got out of hand.

“Why two?” I’d asked to drown out the roars of the tiger as it fought to escape its restraints. I stared up at my father as a torch cast his long shadow across the room.

He crouched in front of me. “The Desert Boys killed your mother. We can’t let them get away. This is the first one we’ve caught since her death. We must teach our enemies a lesson.” He patted my head.

I’d looked away, sick to my stomach from the smell and his words.

I had wanted to escape, to get away from the stench. But there was no way I was going the way they’d just taken the tiger. There was a small door set into the back wall of the tiger’s cage. I had no idea where it led, but I definitely wasn’t going that way. Without waiting to see the look on my father’s face, I’d fled back the way I’d come.