“After Remy brought his accusations forward, I had no choice but to kick Rodric out. I thought that was the end of it, but Rodric was never one to give up easily. He snuck back in that night and slit Remy’s throat. He would have slit mine too if I hadn’t woken up in time.

“I fought him all the way to Scorpion Hill. I’d trained him well, but I had rage to spur me on. I cut him across his side. It was a deep wound, deep enough to kill him. He stumbled backward over the ridge into the scorpion pit. I left him there to die.” He balled his hands into fists. “I don’t know how he survived, and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t regret not staying there, not making sure he was dead. I owed it to Remy.” He exhaled deeply, like he was letting the words out for the first time. Maybe he was.

“It wasn’t your fault Remy died,” I said.

He exhaled. “I wasn’t just his leader. I was his brother. I was supposed to take care of him.” He grabbed a handful of sand and flung it at the wall. It splashed outward and trickled down over the rug.

“You did everything you could. You led the other boys to safety and have continued to keep them from harm. Rodric didn’t find anything when he broke into your last hideout.”

There was a crazed look in Cion’s eyes when he looked at me. “I made the boys pack up everything and move to a new cave because I couldn’t stand to stay in the place where Remy bled out. It was sheer luck I picked a hideout Rodric didn’t know how to get to, because this place had once been solely for initiations, and the only one Rodric had the patience to attend was his own. And he was led blindfolded then like all the other boys.” His eyes roved about the room, and I realized it wasn’t wildness and anger I saw in his eyes. It was tears. He was fighting to hold them back. “It’s one of the few he didn’t know how to find.”

“You couldn’t have known what he’d do, what he’d become.” I’m not sure where the gesture came from, but I moved forward and put a hand on his.

Cion seemed just as surprised. He started to pull his hand away but didn’t. “I should’ve known. I owed it to them. All of them. Every time I watch one of them die, I think back to how I could’ve prevented it if I’d killed Rodric when I had the chance. Yeri would still be here. They all would.”

“I used to think that my mother’s death was my fault,” I said quietly, “that if I had been stronger . . .” I swallowed. “I blamed myself for my mother’s death, but I was wrong. Even if it had been the Desert Boys and not my father, it still wouldn’t have been my fault.”