“Her name is Rivera,” Angie said. “And I didn’t say anything because I had nothing concrete to tell you. All I had were a few … observations that I couldn’t present to you, because I knew—” She hesitated.

“What?”

“That you’d react like this. I still don’t know any more than you do, which brings me to a crucial question. Why aren’t you directing these questions to Caroline?”

“I’m sorry that things have come to this point,” said a voice from the computer’s speakers. “But you give me no choice.”

“The hell?” said John, and Angie sat down heavily on the chair in front of the computer. Patty-Cake Walker was looking back at her. Her expression, self-satisfied, prim, superior, told the whole story before the bright orange mouth opened again.

She was saying, “I simply won’t allow you to interfere with the happiness of the people I love best in the world. John Grant and Caroline Rose were made for each other, and they deserve a perfect wedding day. All I’m doing is making sure you’re not around to cause more trouble.”

Angie punched the pause button, leaving Patty-Cake with her mouth contorted and her eyes half-open. She looked at John and he looked at her and they bolted. He got to the exit first, grabbed for the doorknob.

“Fuck,” he said.

“Well, no,” Angie said. “That’s just the problem. Patty-Cake thinks we’re doing too much fucking.”

When they got back to the computer Patty-Cake was still waiting patiently in suspended animation. Angie punched the play button.

“I know about that nasty business on the afternoon of the Jubilee, when you went to so much trouble to seduce John …” Patty-Cake said.

“See?” said Angie.

John threw up his hands. “How does she know about that?”

“Win Walker,” Angie said. “And an unfortunate condom sighting.”

“… I know a lot of things, and I’m making it my business to put an end to all your scheming. As anybody in the English department can tell you, it’s not wise to trifle with me, and you’re about to learn that lesson the hard way.