I study his face closely to see if he is joking and can’t tell. He would make an excellent poker player. My gut tells me that he set this whole thing up to aggravate me. What I can’t figure out is why would he do that? He’s the one that asked me out on a date, not the other way around.

I know it isn’t my imagination that he led me to believe that we would be going to see actual moonshiners. Not a sweet old lady who makes apple cider vinegar and convinces herself there’s alcohol in it.

I hope to God she doesn’t expect me to drink it at some point during the visit. When she offers it to me, I’ll either say alcohol is against my religion or that I’m diabetic. Neither of which is true.

Finally we huff and puff our way to the top of a hill and she points to two little apple trees on the other side with her walking stick. A herd of black and white cows are standing underneath the limbs. Apples are scattered all over the ground.

She waves a wrinkled hand at the trees. “There’s my orchard,” she says with a proud smile. “Isn’t it nice? Take out your pencil and paper so I can tell you all about how I take care of the trees. We can go sit on the ground in the shade while you take notes.”

“Sit with the cows?” I ask.

The white shorts I’m wearing won’t be white much longer.

“Oh, the cows won’t hurt you,” she says. “The worst they might do is stomp on your toes. The black flies hanging around on them can be bad sometimes. They bite.”

I hear a sound behind me that sounds suspiciously like a snicker. I whirl around to glare at Sam, who smiles at me.

“Here, take my hand, Lila,” he says. “I’ll help you walk down the hill.”

Yeah, he’ll help me alright. Right down into a cow patty.

I ignore his outstretched hand.

“That’s Sam for you,” his aunt says. “Always being a true Southern gentleman. His mama, who was my sister Melissa, always tried to teach the boys good manners. Isn’t that right, Sam?”

“Yes ma’am,” he answers politely.

Now there’s a story I don’t believe for a minute.

I wonder if good old Aunt Leona knows that all three Mason boys are criminals. Nothing more than common outlaws with pretty faces who are currently under investigation by the ATF and state government agencies.

Of course she doesn’t. Why would she?