Tanya sniffed once and swallowed hard. “I miss you.”

They held each other and Tanya wanted to spend the whole hour just holding him. Behind them, Helen shifted in her chair. Shannon kissed Tanya’s hair and they sat across the table from each other.

“Well, young man, you look larger in person than on the tube,” Helen said. “And easily as handsome.”

Shannon blushed through a smile and glanced at Tanya.

“I’m sorry, I should have introduced you. This is Helen.”

Shannon looked at Tanya’s grandmother. “So you are Helen. I’ve heard a lot about you. All good, of course. It’s a pleasure meeting you.” He dipped his head.

“And you.” Helen grinned approvingly.

They exchanged some news and talked lightly about prison life. Tanya told Shannon about the latest positive spin on Larry King Live that was gathering steam. Shannon joked about the food and talked kindly about the guards. Within ten minutes they began to run out of small talk, and an awkward silence engulfed them.

Looking at the shy, gentle man across from her now, Tanya’s heart ached.

“You are still confused, Shannon,” Helen said.

“Grandmother,” Tanya objected, “I’m not sure this is the time.”

Shannon looked at Tanya and then lowered his eyes to the table.

“I can hardly remember who I was,” Shannon said. The room felt charged with electricity. You don’t have to do this, Shannon.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Actually I feel more lost than confused.” He looked up at Helen, who wore a faint smile. They seemed to look into each other’s souls.

“Then tell me what you remember,” Helen said.

Shannon hesitated and looked away.

“I remember what happened. It just seems like a whole different person did those things.” He paused. When he spoke, it was introspectively.

“When my parents were killed by the Brotherhood, something snapped. I went to the cave . . .”

“Sula,” Tanya said after another pause. “The witch doctor’s grave.”

“Yes. And I . . . I changed there.”

“What changed?” Helen asked.

“Things went fuzzy. I could hardly remember what Tanya looked like, or what my parents looked like. I became obsessed with death. With killing. Mostly with killing whoever had ruined my life.”

“Abdullah and the CIA,” Tanya said. He’d told her everything already, but hearing him tell Helen, it sounded new. Somehow different.

“Yes. But more than that.” He shook his head and his eyes went moist. “Things got cloudy. I hated everything. When I learned about the CIA’s involvement, I just began to hate everything that had anything to do with the CIA.”

“But if you were driven by evil, why would you want to destroy Abdullah, who was also evil?” Tanya asked.