‘Well, on the plus side, she doesn’t have a record.’

‘But?’

‘She has a tongue on her like a brickie’s labourer.’

‘Rough?’

‘Could strip the varnish off your furniture. Doesn’t call a spade a spade – more like a fucking shovel. She’s known locally as the screaming skull. She doesn’t shut the door on Jehovah’s Witnesses, she eats them up and spits out the...’

‘Thank you, Jack. Got the picture.’

‘So, we start with the skull?’

‘We start with the skull. Next?’

‘The best of them is probably uncle Eddie. He is a sort of a cousin of Frank Gallagher. Has never been involved in any of the business ventures. Bit dolly dimple really. He has a kind of granny flat at the back of the Gallagher house. He potters around the garden, washes the cars, that sort of thing. He will certainly stick to the story that Charlie was at the party all the time. I think he could come over reasonably well. If Matthews tries to bully him, the jury might just be sympathetic. It’s your decision, James, of course.’

‘Is this a dagger I see before me, the handle turned toward my hand? Uncle Eddie then. After that, Paul Tomzack. End of story.’

‘What about Jack?’

‘Jack?’

‘Me!’

‘Should we try to get Jack in as a late witness to deny the bribe he is supposed to have offered Warwick?’

‘Fair point, Donald.’

‘Wait a minute – no way – no fucking chance. You’re not getting me into a witness box. Let that smart-arsed bastard prosecutor take the piss out of me? Not on your life.’

‘Well, Jack, we’ve got to think of the client’s best interests.’

‘If you want blood, you can have blood. You can sleep with my wife, my secretary, the dog, if you prefer. But you’re not putting me in a witness box.’

‘Jack, I do believe you are in a panic.’

‘No, I’m not! I’m not in a panic. I’m not! I’ve been in court all the time. I’ve heard the evidence. I’m your instructing solicitor. I can’t give evidence. Can I?’

‘There’s nothing to it, Jack. Christ, you’ve seen more people give evidence than the two of us put together. You just take the oath, stand there and answer a few simple questions. Well, maybe just the odd tricky one.’

‘I bloody know how to give evidence. I also know how you bastards delight in making an idiot out of any solicitor who is mad enough to give you the chance.’

Muirhead donned a worried mien.

‘I take it that what Warwick said was a lie?’

‘Of course it was a bloody lie. Have you gone mad, James?’

‘Now, now, Jack. I’m sure it’s a lie, but the jury might just wonder, you know. Better safe than sorry.’

‘Jesus Christ!’

‘What do you think, James?’

‘It’s a tricky one.’

‘I’m fairly clear in my mind.’

‘Yes, I’ve come to a view on the matter. I’d prefer the dog.’

‘Me too.’