1) what is a triangle offense?

2) what state does the city of Los Angeles reside in?

3) name five current NBA coaches (D’Antoni, McHale, and Woodson don’t count)

Failure to present this ID will result in the fan being detained over by the nachos, where they will be forced to answer where they are from—no, where are you REALLY from—and why they like basketball. Asian American sportswriters will be required to write a 1,200-word personal narrative describing when they started to like basketball and why. If, within the essay, they mention they played basketball, they must specify whether it was in J-town leagues, Chinatown leagues, or against real players—and if the latter, they must explicitly state they were not very good. Upon passing the personal narrative, sportswriters must then distance themselves from fake Asian Lin-bandwagon basketball fans. Bringing up the flaws in Lin’s game, ranking other pro point guards ahead of him, and questioning other Asian Americans’ knowledge of the game are all acceptable tactics. Racism must not be mentioned unless it’s to talk about how people only like Jeremy Lin because he’s Asian. Failure to adhere to these regulations will result in Asian Americans being demoted back to table tennis.

Frank’s Nursery and Crafts

The lines are long and my mom insists

that the final amount is wrong.

The cashier looks at the receipt and insists that it’s right.

My mom purses her lips, looks worried,

says, it’s not right.

The line of white people behind us groans.

My mom won’t look back at them.

We both know what they’re thinking.

Small woman with no knowledge of the way

things are in America.

Though year after year

she makes flowers bloom in the hood,

petals in the face of this land

that doesn’t want her here.

Finally a manager comes, checks, and tells the cashier

she rang up twenty-two plants instead of just two,

overcharging us by forty dollars.

My mother holds my hand,

leads me away

without looking back

at the line of white people

who overhear

and gasp,

their sympathy won.

If only I was old enough

to tell them to keep it;

it’s not my mom’s English

that is broken.

“Allies” Who Think They’re the Chosen Ones

Some dudes front like they’re the Harry Potter of antiracism

when really

they’re just trying

to Cho your Chang.

Are People of Color as Bad or Who’s Bad or Bad Meaning Good

Like do you mean bad meaning good or bad meaning bad like genocide and slavery and using rifles as cocks or do you mean bad like bad bad but so bad we love you anyway like having a thing for bad boys like a phase of bad or are we talking bad to the scorched bone or like Darth Vader bad until the man asks you to fry your son or bad like a burning cross through a stained glass window bad or bad like a stabbing during a picnic on a perfect day bad or do you mean like bad but no get out of jail free card bad or do you mean bad credit bad or bad like two Asians in a room and they’ll smile at everyone except each other bad or do you mean bad but let’s do a study on why you’re so bad or bad like bad ph (like unforgivably bad) or do you mean bad like racist against the Japanese imperialists for rape bad or do you mean bad because when history is so bloody there is no such thing as a mirror bad like when you need good so bad even bad a little is bad too much