I pull back and take in the gorgeous sight of his full, goofy smile. His teeth are white and straight, he’s got small dimples popping—and those eyes. They’re sparkling black pools of joy. My heart flutters in my chest. I feel so light I could take off like a rocket. Where’d the gravity go?

“I lo—” I slap my hand over my mouth and jump away from him like he’s the electric chair and I’m the soon-to-be dead man.

How could I be that stupid? It was on the tip of my tongue. It almost slipped out! I’m not ready for ‘I love you’s. That’s what couples say after months of dating. Serious dating, not sexually frustrated blackmail dating. It’s a hop, skip and a jump to the world of ‘marry me’, ‘I do’, and ‘it’s a boy’! I’m not anywhere near there. I’m happy in Netflix-and-chill land.

Devin would look gorgeous in a tux, that wide smile on his lips, watching me walk down the aisle to him.

Gah!

What am I saying? That is insane. I don’t want to get married. I’m not ready. This is all Elizabeth’s fault. Her and Austin and their stupid sappy love story. That’s great for them, but I’m not there yet. I’m barely ready for a steady boyfriend. My heart is thudding and my mind is racing dizzying laps.

Devin is staring at me, concern and confusion replacing that beautiful smile on his face. Good. That’s safer. He takes a cautious step toward me.

“Shit. Sorry. I lost—” My mind? I bite my bottom lip and search the area around me for a believable lie. I rub my chest—it’s a thousand degrees. “I lost…my necklace.”

“Here?” Devin asks, his dark eyes falling to the floor. “What’s it look like?”

Guilt rips through me as we both drop to our knees, searching for my imaginary necklace.

“Look like?” I ask, buying time. “It was just a thin gold chain.”

Devin grunts in response, continuing to look. What is the appropriate time to let the man you’re in love with search a dirty bowling alley floor for an imaginary necklace? Five minutes? Fifteen? Every second we spend scouring the tiny space is a knife to my stomach.

“Maybe I lost it at home, when I was changing.”

“Want to go home and look?” Devin asks. I nod, needing some space to figure my shit out.

We’re halfway to my house when he asks, “Was it special?”

“What?”

“The necklace.”

Right. “No, nothing sentimental. Just thought it was pretty,” I answer, hoping never to talk about the stupid thing again.

He walks me to my door, the tenderness of his large hand on the small of my back driving me crazy.

I crack the door and turn to him. “Thanks for tonight.”