We straighten up and behave when we make it to the bench where Mom’s sipping hot cocoa, waving as we pass by. Her eyes narrow in suspicion. We giggle like we’re still adolescent idiots and skate away. Luckily, she’s too busy with her chubby and adorable newborn grandson to chase after us.

Ice skating is a Christmas tradition for the Allen family. One of many. A mandatory event for all Allen children and any significant others.

“Where’s…Nancy?” I ask, trying to remember his latest girlfriend’s name.

“Natalie,” he corrects with a sigh. “She wasn’t comfortable with the meet-the-family moment. Said she isn’t looking for anything serious right now.”

I wince. “Ouch. Sorry, big brother.” I give him a pat on the shoulder. “How about some cider? My treat.”

“Special cider?”

I turn my back to our mom and pull out my flask. “Of course.”

Special cider is one of the newer Allen children traditions.

“Sold.”

We grab a bench and watch the skaters float by, sipping our warm apple and cinnamon deliciousness with an extra kick courtesy of my Schnapps.

“How’s your last year going? Ready to be an adult?”

“Bite me,” I scoff. “I’m more of an adult than you’ll ever be.”

“Keep dreaming, Jessie Bird.”

I shake my head. “School’s been a little crazy. I really needed this Christmas break.”

“Pfft. You’re not getting any sympathy from me. Don’t even try.”

“That’s why you’re my favorite brother. You really care,” I tease with my mock little-girl voice.

“Whatever. You know you do it to yourself. Two letters. N.O. That’s all it takes, Jessie.”

“I say no to tons of stuff.”

He narrows his eyes at me and shakes his head.

“Okay. Not tons.” He stares at me. I shove him with my shoulder. “We can’t all be cold-hearted jerks.”

Jake lets out a hearty chuckle. He’s an attorney for Legal Aid. Some cold-hearted jerk.

He hums and takes a sip of his cider. “I won’t apologize for going after what I want. You’re just jealous.”

I let out a sharp laugh. “Jealous? You’re an idiot.”

“You are. You’re jealous I know what I want in life and you’re too busy doing shit for other people to figure yourself out.”

“Calm down. You’re an underpaid lawyer with an overused Tinder finger, not the second coming!”

Jake and I share another laugh and I realize how much I’ve missed my favorite brother. I make a mental note to carve out time to talk to him more. Somehow.

“Seriously, when was the last time you did something just because you wanted to and not because someone asked you to?”

I wave him off. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Then you’re more delusional than Jamie thinking he’ll turn the music world on its head with his banjo skills.”

Jake’s pocket vibrates and he pulls out that stupid phone again. The words New Match pop up before he starts scrolling through pictures of singles near us.

“Jesus, give it a rest.”