“What the hell are you wearing?”

I smile and wiggle my eyebrows. “This old thing? You like?”

He shakes his head and lets out a full laugh this time. He’s quiet for a bit, staring off into the night. “How bad is it?” he asks, a deep frown on his face.

I let out a long breath, letting it whistle through my lips. “Pretty bad. She was bawling her eyes out when she showed up.”

“Fuck,” he curses himself under his breath.

I plop down onto the stoop and tap the spot next to me. “Pull up some porch, Big Man.”

He eases his hulking frame down next to me, his legs wide, brushing against mine.

“So, wha’chya do?” I ask, keeping my voice light.

He lets out a long sigh and slumps forward, like the weight of the world is crushing him. “I fucked up, JB. I said some shit I shouldn’t’ve. Then she took off and I lost my fucking mind. I can’t lose her too.”

I slide my hand into his, resting my chin on his shoulder and keeping quiet. He looks at my hand in his.

“When Becs was born, she was so small. Her little hand barely fit around my finger.” Devin sandwiches my hand with his, flipping it over and over and studying it like I’m another species. “She was a preemie. Two months early.” His expression goes blank and his eyes are vacant. He’s staring off into the night when he begins again. “I tried to make sure my dad didn’t touch my mom while she was pregnant. Took enough beatings for the both of us. But one night, he came home after a poker game. Broke. Drunk. And pissed. I shoved him as soon as he walked in the door, picking a fight. He beat me almost unconscious. Mom tried to pull him off, scared he’d kill me. He tossed her against the wall and her water broke.” His voice is cold and flat. “I was eight.”

My chest breaks wide open for him. For his mother. For an unborn baby Bennett. Tears sting my eyes. I grab his hands with both of mine, our twenty fingers curling together in a human puzzle. I don’t say anything. There’s no apology big enough for what he’s been through.

“Becs doesn’t know she was born on our living room floor, surrounded by paramedics right after our dad got carted off to jail. She doesn’t know how bad it was. How hard I tried to keep the three of us together. How scared I am that part of him is in me.”

I grab his chin and turn him to face me. I shake my head as tears trail down my face. “You are not him. You’d never let anyone hurt her.”